female advice needed please

[char213]

Ok, this is a bit of a weird one and somewhat embarrasing...

I'm a 21 year old female who's dream has always been to work in conservation as a ranger however I have suffered for quite a while now with really bad IBS. For those who don't know what this is its Irritable Bowel Syndrome which means i often have to run to the toilet! Unfortunately this has meant that i've developed a fear of being places where there are no toilets nearby. Obviously this is now impacting on my confidence to do voluntary work and i'm worried its gonna stop me from pursuing my dream to become a ranger. I have done some volunteer work in the past but i'm always worrying about whether i'll need the toilet and this makes me panic and not enjoy the experience and now i'm scared to even try and go to any volunteer work parties. I know that the answer is to face my fears which I really want to do as usually i'm ok and don't have any embarrasing moments so its more of a fear of what if it happens. I'm just after some advice as to what other female members do when they're caught short in the middle of nowhere. I know this sounds silly but if i could have some reassurance that i'm not the only person that this happens to it might make it easier for me to face my fears.

[Fuzzy-felt bloke]

It may also be worth while posting this on the CMA forum and their yahoo mailing list (out of the two the yahoo group is better), although you have to be a member it’s worth joining. There are female rangers as members, who may be able to offer advice.

Countryside Management Association


Fuzzy-Felt Bloke

[Deb London]

It is a problem. I was thinking about starting a thread so volunteers could swap tales, until I realised I'd need a whole blummin' forum for all the topics to be discussed. This is an interesting one.

My last volunteering required my to set off 1 1/2 hours early for travel. Then with 4 hours work, I knew I needed to go sometime! So I went before anyone else arrived.

Woods are fine. Urinating is OK. But I sympathise with your problem. Tbh, all you need is some of that wet toilet roll that comes in a packet, a trowel and some way of cleaning your hands - wet wipes and hand gel, something like that.

If you have to go with other people about, just set off. No one will think too much about it.

But I'd definitely stick to working in woods or near a wooded area.

Possibly wear a skirt over leggings if you are mortified at the thought of someone seeing you, and take a change of clothes in case.

If it makes you feel better, the other day I was studying a plant in an inner city environment and realised what I was about to step in was not dog poop, LOL. Some people don't even try for behind a bush.

[PMG]

Been there - done that - for 20 years!

Unfortunately the confidence to deal with this (and lots of other embarassing problems seems to get better with age!) I've had IBS for 12 years and thats only when it was identified - obviously I'd suffered with the problem long before seeking help or seeing the Dr (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac anyway!) I've been taken short many times - I take practical steps like clean underwear and wipes in the car - tho in 30 years I've only ever actually soiled my pants once - so I think the fear of doing it is a lot bigger than actually doing it! I've always wondered if Imodium would stop an attack if you were caught out in the wrong place but never needed too try it to see? Its not just out in work parties where the problem is - the worst scenario is on a guided walk with 30+ folks following you and hanging on your every word But I did it for 20 years till retiring for other reasons 18 months ago!

These days I get round it by joking with the folk that I'm with - look out folks I';m having an attack of Montezumas Revenge again - must rush into the undergrowth - back in bit - kind of thing. It happened yesterday - I'm well versed in the 'I need to go to the loo before going out for the day' as if it comes on later I will be inconvenienced and if I do withold - then later I'm constipated - and I think most IBS sufferers are worse just cos they can't go when they need to and then can't go later when they do get to a loo? Anyway yesterday I had to find somewhere a little bit out of sight - I don't like doing it and I do clean up and hide what I;ve done like a big pussy-cat if you get my drift! And if someone does catch you with your pants down - so what - they look just as daft and vulnerable with their pants round their ankles - just tell them not to be so rude - look away - go away - don't you get embarrassed - embarrass them and make them go and if - just 'if' you do get a nutter who thinks your pants down is an invitation to rape - tell him you will smear him with it and if he's such a nutter this thought excites him then its plan B - grab up your pants and RUN!

I know I'm making it sound jokey and light hearted but what I'm really saying is once you have the confidence to deal with your problem then others will follow your lead and not be embarrassed and if they are then they are childish and deserve to be ignored. You and your problems - cos we are all the sum total of us and our problems - you do have the right to have the job you've always wanted and nothing should stand in your way - certainly not this kind of thing - live your life its the only one you've got - good luck

Pauline

[Deb London]

Originally Posted by PMG

Been there - done that - for 20 years!

Unfortunately the confidence to deal with this (and lots of other embarassing problems seems to get better with age!) I've had IBS for 12 years and thats only when it was identified - obviously I'd suffered with the problem long before seeking help or seeing the Dr (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac anyway!) I've been taken short many times - I take practical steps like clean underwear and wipes in the car - tho in 30 years I've only ever actually soiled my pants once - so I think the fear of doing it is a lot bigger than actually doing it! I've always wondered if Imodium would stop an attack if you were caught out in the wrong place but never needed too try it to see? Its not just out in work parties where the problem is - the worst scenario is on a guided walk with 30+ folks following you and hanging on your every word But I did it for 20 years till retiring for other reasons 18 months ago!

These days I get round it by joking with the folk that I'm with - look out folks I';m having an attack of Montezumas Revenge again - must rush into the undergrowth - back in bit - kind of thing. It happened yesterday - I'm well versed in the 'I need to go to the loo before going out for the day' as if it comes on later I will be inconvenienced and if I do withold - then later I'm constipated - and I think most IBS sufferers are worse just cos they can't go when they need to and then can't go later when they do get to a loo? Anyway yesterday I had to find somewhere a little bit out of sight - I don't like doing it and I do clean up and hide what I;ve done like a big pussy-cat if you get my drift! And if someone does catch you with your pants down - so what - they look just as daft and vulnerable with their pants round their ankles - just tell them not to be so rude - look away - go away - don't you get embarrassed - embarrass them and make them go and if - just 'if' you do get a nutter who thinks your pants down is an invitation to rape - tell him you will smear him with it and if he's such a nutter this thought excites him then its plan B - grab up your pants and RUN!

I know I'm making it sound jokey and light hearted but what I'm really saying is once you have the confidence to deal with your problem then others will follow your lead and not be embarrassed and if they are then they are childish and deserve to be ignored. You and your problems - cos we are all the sum total of us and our problems - you do have the right to have the job you've always wanted and nothing should stand in your way - certainly not this kind of thing - live your life its the only one you've got - good luck

Pauline

That is one of the funniest pieces of descriptive writing I've read in a while, Pauline. I really wish I wasn't in a library right now - I am trying not to laugh out loud. Good for you!

[eeyore]

as a man this isnt a problem that effects me much (for men every tree is a toilet after all) but as a volunteers scheme coordinator who has both female staff and female volunteers it is something we try to take into account when planning tasks , and it is often possible to plan tasks with a pub, cafe , or other convenience within reasonable distance (of course equally it sometimes isnt)

I would suggest raising it quietly with you volunteer scheme coordinator who will then (if they are any good at their job) take it into account in which tasks they book you on to.

you dont say where in the country you are, but if you are in the oxon, bucks, berks, wilts area i'd be happy to talk to you about our scheme, and your issue would certainly not be a barrier to getting involved.

as reggards future career and becoming a ranger its not an insurmoutable problem as most country parks etc have toilets etc.

[david156]

just some info on how IBS affected my wife.
My better half was diagnosed with IBS after suffering for many years with sickness and the runs aswell as swollen belly. Sometimes she would look nine months pregnant and be in terrible pain.
She wasn't happy with the doctors diagnosis so she bought a self test allergy and intolerance test and found that she was intolerant to milk and eggs. They wouldn't kill her if she ate them but she gets IBS symptons and really depressed and agitated.
She now stays of milk and diary and hasn't had any symptoms since.
The doctors reply, "oh yes. An intolarance can cause IBS"
All i'm saying is have a dig around and try to find out what triggers your IBS. You could ease some of your problems.

David.

[Kayleigh]

I have got Crohns and I take imodium when I know I will be out all day they stop me going with no ill affects..

[char213]

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for all of your advice. I feel a lot more reassured. I know that the only way to conquer my fear is to just get out there and do the volunteer work which is what i'm gonna do. Now that I know i'm not the only one who feels like this I think i'll have a lot more confidence.

Thanks once again

[Cowgirl]

It is a problem being a female sometimes isn't it? I can really start to hate men when they say "right, off to water some plants" in that jolly way thay have & you know you can't do that because you'll end up weeing on your knickers or sitting on a nettle! Then add in a freezing day in winter on the side of a welsh hillside with horizontal rain & you've got to get unwrapped from your thermals, jeans, boilersuit, waterproof overcoat & leggings, then you can really hate them!

Good suggestion about the wet wipes & trowel though. Thankfully those days are gone now that I'm in a nice dry office with a toilet on hand. I always had a problem & developed a bladder & bowel that would do a camel proud, cos I'm paranoid someone is going to show up just at my most vulnerable, maybe I should have developed an attitude like Pauline & just glared at anybody even remotely nearby (your writing did make me laugh P ) but when you gotta go you gotta go. We've all been there!