2 more!!

[Eileen]

Office Rules.

1. In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

2.
a. Anyone can make a decision given enough facts.
b. A good manager can make a decision without enough facts.
c. A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.

3. The one time in the day that you lean back and relax is the one time the Boss walks in your office.

4. Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.

5. An easily-understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehensible truth.

6. If you can keep your head when all about you are losing their's, then you just don't understand the problem.

7. The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

8. Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

9. If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy man - he will find an easier way to do it.
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and the other one:-


IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.

IN PRISON you get three meals a day.
AT WORK you only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

IN PRISON a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON you get your own toilet.
AT WORK you have to share.

IN PRISON they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON there are wardens who are often sadistic.
AT WORK they are called managers.


Still rather be at work?