Perceptions, Opinions & Reactions

[speckled wood]

Could not help but notice how quickly some debates quickly turn accrimonious or threads drift off and turn accrimonious, just seems that someone having a different perception starts to be taken personally. Letsface it all a perception is, is seeing something from a different point of view and perhaps forming an opinion but does that always need to turn to having a negative reaction rather than continuing reasonable debate?

[Alan]

What a load of rubbish!

The trouble with these things is they can easily snowball-on from past threads. We all have our opinions and perceptions of topics and individuals, no need to let it get personal though. It’s easier said than done sometimes but best to keep it in mind.

Chill peeps

[chunkychambers]

Originally Posted by speckled wood

Could not help but notice how quickly some debates quickly turn accrimonious or threads drift off and turn accrimonious, just seems that someone having a different perception starts to be taken personally. Letsface it all a perception is, is seeing something from a different point of view and perhaps forming an opinion but does that always need to turn to having a negative reaction rather than continuing reasonable debate?

I agree, I've been involved in one of them
I think the written word can be unintentionally quite harsh and doesn't always relate the mood of the writer, that's why it's a good idea to use the smilies and negate any false images or perceptions if possible.
I've been a member since August and rightly or wrongly I've built up my own character profiles of other members based purely on their writing style because, as yet, I haven't met any of them. Although I'm pretty sure of about a handful

Everyone should be able to put forward their point of view, and there's nothing wrong with a vigourous debate, as long as it ends in an amicable way and isn't carried forward from thread to thread.
Unfortunately though this does happen, there are one or two who like to dominate certain discussions and are very free with various accusations and nastiness if they can't.
Only last week a lady member was expressing her personal viewpoint and was told she didn't know what she was talking about, now she may or may not be aware of all the facts, but she certainly does know her own mind better than anyone else and should be free to express it.

However the vast majority of members are very friendly, and knowledgeable posters and it's a joy to visit the site

[StuartDH]

As I'm sure you'll know there's often a lot more to these things than meets the eye. More often than not it's someone trying to settle old scores and taking any opportunity to wind people up or start a scrap. They follow people around the site and try to start arguments wherever they can. They'll even start PMing others to rally support and get them involved in doing their dirty work.

The same names pop up all the time and they usually run around pretending to be innocent, but in the background they have often been conspiring with other members to try and cause problem for weeks/months. When they're rumbled they usually claim that it's not their fault and that others are to blame, and often don't consider for one minute that they are the problem.

We're all for good debate on this site and will even let some very heated exchanges continue a bit longer than most people would like. However, if there's any acrimnious behaviour then the offended party only has to let us know and we'll look in to it.

Thankfully, we don't get much of it on this forum and certainly far less than many other forums that I've been on. However, I think we'll get far less of it in the future as they're a hair's breadth away from being banned

[Alan]

Originally Posted by StuartDH

As I'm sure you'll know there's often a lot more to these things than meets the eye. More often than not it's someone trying to settle old scores and taking any opportunity to wind people up or start a scrap. They follow people around the site and try to start arguments wherever they can. They'll even start PMing others to rally support and get them involved in doing their dirty work.

The same names pop up all the time and they usually run around pretending to be innocent, but in the background they have often been conspiring with other members to try and cause problem for weeks/months. When they're rumbled they usually claim that it's not their fault and that others are to blame, and often don't consider for one minute that they are the problem.

We're all for good debate on this site and will even let some very heated exchanges continue a bit longer than most people would like. However, if there's any acrimnious behaviour then the offended party only has to let us know and we'll look in to it.

Thankfully, we don't get much of it on this forum and certainly far less than many other forums that I've been on. However, I think we'll get far less of it in the future as they're a hair's breadth away from being banned

Couldn't agree more Stuart, well said. I'm sure all members will take note of that

Alan

[StuartDH]

Originally Posted by Alan

Couldn't agree more Stuart, well said. I'm sure all members will take note of that

Alan

Maybe not all, especially the ones who don't consider for one minute that they are part of the problem.

I guess time will tell.

[Boddie]

I think alot of this comes down to what people expect from the site and what value they may put on negative or possibly damaging threads and what affect such threads, or posts, may have on the site.

Some, for example, may consider it OK to accept certain language being used, insinuated smuttiness or perhaps phoenetic bad language. This is perhaps acceptable for other sites but not one whereby children should be encouraged to join.

I agree it is not acceptable to tell someone that they do not know what they are talking about. Certainly not in that language. Better to try to educate that person and not try to embarrass them. That serves no positive purpose.

I also agree with the written word being taken out of context as I have often found myself being judged whilst playing devils advocate.

I think this is exacerbated by certain other members conspiring, as has been noted.

I am all for debate, and I am all for discussion via PM's to not have such debates spliing over, with the inevitable unfortunate consequences

[speckled wood]

Originally Posted by StuartDH

As I'm sure you'll know there's often a lot more to these things than meets the eye. More often than not it's someone trying to settle old scores and taking any opportunity to wind people up or start a scrap. They follow people around the site and try to start arguments wherever they can. They'll even start PMing others to rally support and get them involved in doing their dirty work.

The same names pop up all the time and they usually run around pretending to be innocent, but in the background they have often been conspiring with other members to try and cause problem for weeks/months. When they're rumbled they usually claim that it's not their fault and that others are to blame, and often don't consider for one minute that they are the problem.

We're all for good debate on this site and will even let some very heated exchanges continue a bit longer than most people would like. However, if there's any acrimnious behaviour then the offended party only has to let us know and we'll look in to it.

Thankfully, we don't get much of it on this forum and certainly far less than many other forums that I've been on. However, I think we'll get far less of it in the future as they're a hair's breadth away from being banned

Of course equally there is often (indeed usually) much less to these things than is apparent, some simple statement or question being misunderstood and over-reacted to.

[lewisa]

All this stuff must go over my head. IMO this forum is a ray of light in a sea of darkness.

I have never, and dont think I will ever, find a friendlier place on the net.

[nightshade]

Originally Posted by lewisa

All this stuff must go over my head. IMO this forum is a ray of light in a sea of darkness.

I have never, and dont think I will ever, find a friendlier place on the net.

People get more firmly attached to their ideas than their friends at times
you just have to accept them for that, we all have our faults and strengths
tolerance is good

[Susie]

Originally Posted by Boddie

I think alot of this comes down to what people expect from the site and what value they may put on negative or possibly damaging threads and what affect such threads, or posts, may have on the site.

Some, for example, may consider it OK to accept certain language being used, insinuated smuttiness or perhaps phoenetic bad language. This is perhaps acceptable for other sites but not one whereby children should be encouraged to join.

Isn't what is suitable subjective? Ultimately isn't it down to the moderators to decide?

[Boddie]

Originally Posted by Susie

Isn't what is suitable subjective? Ultimately isn't it down to the moderators to decide?

Are you suggesting that the moderators would tolerate what I outlined? i.e. insinuated smuttiness or perhaps phoenetic bad language

[Garden Carpet]

I have often read threads on the board where there is a difference of opinion and thought.. "hang on a minute.. that isnt what was said at all!" I believe that people see what they want to see.. or sometimes what they expect to see and not what is actualy written in the post. It is a great shame when this happens.

Perhaps we should go and do something else for five minutes and then re-read the troublesome post again before calmly making a reply.

jaki ......Getting flak jacket, nbc gear and rations ready to deal with fallout

[Tormentil]

I think Susies suggesting that its up to the moderaters to judge the content of posts.

Has it's not feasible for them to check every post, members can bring thier attention to unsuitable material by using the "Report this post" facility.

[Susie]

Originally Posted by Boddie

Are you suggesting that the moderators would tolerate what I outlined? i.e. insinuated smuttiness or perhaps phoenetic bad language

I am not "suggesting" anything. Anyone can see the rules of this forum, which state "By agreeing to these rules, you warrant that you will not post any messages that are obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful, threatening, or otherwise violative of any laws." What I was trying to point out is that what one person would regard as offensive another wouldn't and that where to draw the line isn't easy.

Personally I think the moderators of this forum do a wonderful job.

[Boddie]

I never suggested it wasn't down to the moderators. So why cite my text?

[Susie]

Boddie, can we just step back for a second and relax a bit? I don't want a row with you or anyone else.

In answer to your question I quoted your text because I felt that the usage of the word "suggesting" implied that I was criticising the behaviour of the moderators on this forum when that has never been the case.

If you take offence to my use of quotation marks then I apologise, although their use was in no way meant to be offensive.

It is quite interesting to see in this thread the way that discussions can develop. I made one comment and now I feel that I have to defend my position and I am under attack for that comment. Fortunately I have been on enough forums and seen this sort of thing happen so frequently that I know not to take these things personally and I can walk away from this thread with a smile on my face.

It just goes to show that Speckled Wood was spot on with her post at the start of this thread.

[Alan]

I’m afraid unofficial moderating is usually the reason many post descend into arguments. It’s been said in the past that since this is a community site, all members should have a role as moderators in a way. Unfortunately unless you have the moderator symbol next to your name, many see it as a personal thing and naturally react back. So best to use the post report button as mentioned.

Maybe a re-reading of the forum guidelines and rules is in order for everyone. That is of course if it applies to everyone.

[Boddie]

Originally Posted by Susie

Boddie, can we just step back for a second and relax a bit? I don't want a row with you or anyone else.

In answer to your question I quoted your text because I felt that the usage of the word "suggesting" implied that I was criticising the behaviour of the moderators on this forum when that has never been the case.

If you take offence to my use of quotation marks then I apologise, although their use was in no way meant to be offensive.

It is quite interesting to see in this thread the way that discussions can develop. I made one comment and now I feel that I have to defend my position and I am under attack for that comment. Fortunately I have been on enough forums and seen this sort of thing happen so frequently that I know not to take these things personally and I can walk away from this thread with a smile on my face.

It just goes to show that Speckled Wood was spot on with her post at the start of this thread.

Susie I am perfectly relaxed. Why do you feel you need to be defensive?

Why do you think I am arguing with you? Why do you feel we are rowing?

Again I am made to look as if I am having a go at you simply by YOUR reaction and nothing I have done wrong.

I am simply asking why did you cite my text in your original post in this thread. To cite my text would infer that you disagree with a part of it. If not why cite it? Am I not entitled to ask that question without being accused of not being relaxed, and of attacking you?

You have made me look out of order for answering a post that cited some of my text.

[Boddie]

Originally Posted by Alan

I’m afraid unofficial moderating is usually the reason many post descend into arguments. It’s been said in the past that since this is a community site, all members should have a role as moderators in a way. Unfortunately unless you have the moderator symbol next to your name, many see it as a personal thing and naturally react back. So best to use the post report button as mentioned.

Maybe a re-reading of the forum guidelines and rules is in order for everyone. That is of course if it applies to everyone.

Who might it not apply to?

[Alan]

Originally Posted by Boddie

Who might it not apply to?

A lot of questions for people tonight haven't we? Could apply to a few people, but of course I wouldn't comment on that just in case it was misconstrued as being personal. I'll leave the personal insinuations to others. I'm sure you understand.

[Susie]

I am glad you are relaxed Boddie. I shall cease to be defensive as you have pointed out that I wasn't under attack and you have done nothing wrong

I wish I never did anything wrong! I am always doing things wrong, but fortunately people tolerate me cos I am a simple soul.

I am going to look at some of the wonderful photographs on this site now, chat to a few friends on here and enjoy the rest of my evening. That's what WAB is all about, after all.

[Alan]

Originally Posted by Susie

I am glad you are relaxed Boddie. I shall cease to be defensive as you have pointed out that I wasn't under attack and you have done nothing wrong

I wish I never did anything wrong! I am always doing things wrong, but fortunately people tolerate me cos I am a simple soul.

I am going to look at some of the wonderful photographs on this site now, chat to a few friends on here and enjoy the rest of my evening. That's what WAB is all about, after all.

Bless..

I'm off to bed early so night all, and don't forget to chill


Alan