Unbelievable

[cherrybee]

Originally Posted by John

Hi Pauline

How's this for another shocker. I was flying to Turkey on the Sunday night. Ros asked me to take her to one of her work colleagues leaving do on the Saturday night. I wanted to go to bed early but agreed to take her and pick her up at 1am Sunday morning. I have now found out that I was taking her to her own leaving do. How's that for rubbing it in.

John

UNBELIEVABLE is the right title,pity her friend didnt warn you but then even if she did would you have believed her.When we fall for some one we very often wont listen to anyone one who says anything against them.Keep your chin up John

[Garden Carpet]

She is a real piece of work John. I know you wont appreciate this now but you will be a stonger person in the end.. and possibly a happier one.

BTW. do any of her work colleagues know where she is?

[PMG]

Now you have an explanation you are well on the way to recovering yourself - I know it won't feel like this to you - your mind will keep going round and coming to a full stop each time - but somewhere in the back of your mind it will already be taking steps to get you on an even keel again. But please don't stay suspicious of all women - take time to get over it - but its her problem - not yours - and if you change your nature and attitude you will attract another wrong 'un. You have to stay positive and open and friendly to attract someone else the same. A pity her friend didn't do the decent thing and tip you the wink in the first place tho I suppose its a difficult situation to be in - I'd think twice about being friends with someone I knew treated people so shabbily. Remember its her problem - minimise the damage to yourself and when all else fails just think there is something wrong with her - it may not be her fault but it certainly isn't yours - so put the emotional baggage down and start afresh steadily. . .

[gmsmith]

What to say that hasn't already been said John? I can only offer my thoughts and sincere best wishes to you John and that your 'undoubted' recovery will be as speedy and as painless as possible. I think it very brave of you to open this thread and to talk about your hurt, and I hope you get some comfort in the knowledge that our best wishes are with you at this very testing time. Take care my friend and do stay in touch.

Sincere best wishes
Geoff

[Wild-Woman]

John- It sounds like you're better off without her. She could have pulled you down the debt road even further than she already has.

Keep on with your real passion-birding, as best you can. Wildlife is a great healer.

Thinking of you and wishing you the best.

Julie

[John]

Thanks for all your kind words, they do help, and yes the information I found out about her yesterday as hardened me up know end.

Garden Carpet asked if her work colleagues would know. The answer is yes because it was they that organised her move and helped her load up her things but I don't know any of them to ask.

All her colleagues worked nights (after the shop closed) so I don't think I would have the opportunity to ask anyone about this. I can imagine they wouldn't tell me anyway if I could.

I may approach Asda at the weekend and see if I can find anything out.

John

[Susie]

Originally Posted by John

Thanks for all your kind words, they do help, and yes the information I found out about her yesterday as hardened me up know end.

What a shocker. I wonder how many of us actually really know anyone?

I wish you all the best, John.

[nightshade]

Sorry John,I think you have made a start by getting it off your chest,
the immense sense of betrayal usually makes people bottle things up.
You have taken stock and sorted your priorities( citizens advice are very
good although a limited resource) as everyone has said you need your
birding more than ever now,rediscover the local wildlife,
feel free to pm me
nightshade

[May]

I'm so sorry John, that's just terrible for you.

Take care ..
Melanie

[Zippy]

Hi John.

What can I say. What a very sad story. I think it is very heartening to see such a warm and embrasing community - pulling together to offer their support and sympathies.

To be honest, I think you should try and track this person down, and then see about putting her through the courts to alleviate this budern of debt she's left.

I wish you all the best.

[Earth Hart]

Hey, John,

My thoughts are with you and it's good you brought it out in the open. One thing here at WAB, is that everyone feels for you & you have a strong support network around you.

I know it's hard at the moment but by the sounds of it, you're well rid of her & I second taking her through the courts, CAB may be of help.

Good luck & keep watching the birdies.

Stay well

EH

[nicole]

Im so sorry to hear your news John. Its one of the worst feelings when someone you love and care for lets you down in a big way. I totally second what the others have already said, you hold your head up high and keep on enjoying the things you love.

All the best,
Nicole xx

[John]

Originally Posted by Zippy

Hi John.

What can I say. What a very sad story. I think it is very heartening to see such a warm and embrasing community - pulling together to offer their support and sympathies.

To be honest, I think you should try and track this person down, and then see about putting her through the courts to alleviate this budern of debt she's left.

I wish you all the best.

Hi Zippy

There is no point in going to court now. She has decided to retire (she is 61 next month) so will just be drawing a pension. My dogs are with her and if I was to win a case against her, and bring her income down even more, my dogs would possibly suffer. I can't risk that.

Anyway, if anyone out there knows how to track someone down I wouldn't mind knowing how to do it.

I would love to see my dogs again. Not sure about Ros though.

John

[Deer Stalker]

I'm really sorry to hear what happened John, hope you get back on your feet soon. Remember not everyones like that, people like her are in the minority I think.

[Fourwings]

Blimey,What can I say that hasn't already been said John.

Be strong my friend, time is a great healer, my thoughts are with you.

Take care pal.

[John]

Originally Posted by Deer Stalker

I'm really sorry to hear what happened John, hope you get back on your feet soon. Remember not everyones like that, people like her are in the minority I think.

Cheers Deer Stalker

Just to give a different perspective on things. I am the only man in an office full of women. Monday dinnertime a load of them walked up to me armed with a load of shopping together with a new Electric Kettle and proceeded to hand it all over to me. Yesterday a toaster was given to me. Today a chest of drawers and two bedside cabinets and a Hoover was handed over and I have been told that I am to be given a Lawn Mower next week.

One of the woman bought me a duvet set for a double bed and a set of fitted sheets and the girl who is getting married said I had to come to the reception and promptly went out and bought me a brand new shirt and a new pair of trousers. The reason she says is that the wedding reception can be a new start for me and some new clothes would help with that start.

At the weekend a few women are coming over to my garden to take away quite a few of the plants and one of the head bosses is amongst them. That person is going to cut back all the overgrown part of the garden (Ros let it get out of hand the last two months - now I know why) and give me advice about how to get it more maintenance free (i haven't a clue about gardening - I just did all the hard work like digging etc).

My boss (a woman again) is on holiday this week and yet has rung me every day, both at home and at work, to make sure I'm allright and has told me that she is bringing a few things in when she comes back to work next week.

Now, how could I be annoyed with women in general after a response like that. I was almost on my knees in tears with that kindness. Mind you, I have always said that this set of people I work with are by far and away the best set of work colleagues I have ever had and this has really proved it.

John

[John]

Originally Posted by Fourwings

Blimey,What can I say that hasn't already been said John.

Be strong my friend, time is a great healer, my thoughts are with you.

Take care pal.

Thanks for that Steve.

John

[rlchew]

Originally Posted by John

Cheers Deer Stalker

Just to give a different perspective on things. I am the only man in an office full of women. Monday dinnertime a load of them walked up to me armed with a load of shopping together with a new Electric Kettle and proceeded to hand it all over to me. Yesterday a toaster was given to me. Today a chest of drawers and two bedside cabinets and a Hoover was handed over and I have been told that I am to be given a Lawn Mower next week.

One of the woman bought me a duvet set for a double bed and a set of fitted sheets and the girl who is getting married said I had to come to the reception and promptly went out and bought me a brand new shirt and a new pair of trousers. The reason she says is that the wedding reception can be a new start for me and some new clothes would help with that start.

At the weekend a few women are coming over to my garden to take away quite a few of the plants and one of the head bosses is amongst them. That person is going to cut back all the overgrown part of the garden (Ros let it get out of hand the last two months - now I know why) and give me advice about how to get it more maintenance free (i haven't a clue about gardening - I just did all the hard work like digging etc).

My boss (a woman again) is on holiday this week and yet has rung me every day, both at home and at work, to make sure I'm allright and has told me that she is bringing a few things in when she comes back to work next week.

Now, how could I be annoyed with women in general after a response like that. I was almost on my knees in tears with that kindness. Mind you, I have always said that this set of people I work with are by far and away the best set of work colleagues I have ever had and this has really proved it.

John

John

As you will probably recall you and I are in the same business. I am sure that you have seen the bad side of office politics in its wide ranging forms .... but I have always found that colleagues rally round if someone has a serious illness, personal crisis, bereavement, etc.

I think the response of your colleagues is truly brilliant and shows what high regard they hold you in. You are obviously one of the good guys. Hopefully their practical support and assistance and the comments you have received from WAB friends will see you through this very difficult period in your life.

Keep your head up and stay strong.

Richard

[Pete]

John

I'm ever so sorry I missed this thread.

Have you considered contacting citizens advice? you may be entitled to legal aid and consider the police..... its called theft or she takes the debts.......

[John]

Originally Posted by Pete

John

I'm ever so sorry I missed this thread.

Have you considered contacting citizens advice? you may be entitled to legal aid and consider the police..... its called theft or she takes the debts.......

Hiya Pete. Good to hear from you.

Yes I have considered all of those things but at the end of the day she has given up her job and retired. She won't have a lot of money and i suspect she will be funded to a degree by her family. I suspect she is living in your neck of the woods now, somewhere possibly near hannigfield where her sisters live.

Even if I did track her down, and succesfully fight a claim against her, (which I can't afford to do anyway) the only prospect then would be that she wouldn't be able to afford to look after my dogs and god knows what would happen to them then.

John

[glsammy]

I read this a couple of day's ago John, I honestly didn't know what to say.
Just add me to the long list of friends that's thinking of you and hoping you can get some peace and happiness at the end of this sorry episode.

Best wishes Mate.

[John]

Originally Posted by rlchew

John

As you will probably recall you and I are in the same business. I am sure that you have seen the bad side of office politics in its wide ranging forms .... but I have always found that colleagues rally round if someone has a serious illness, personal crisis, bereavement, etc.

I think the response of your colleagues is truly brilliant and shows what high regard they hold you in. You are obviously one of the good guys. Hopefully their practical support and assistance and the comments you have received from WAB friends will see you through this very difficult period in your life.

Keep your head up and stay strong.

Richard

Hi Rich

Yes I certainly have seen the other side of office politics but I have to be honest and say that i have never seen even a hint of it in this office. From almost the very start I mentioned to my line manager that I had never met such a set of work colleagues like them.

They have certainly helped but I think the things I have found out about her since she has left has hardened my resolve and the only regret I have is the loss of my dogs. I certainly don't want anything to do with her again.

John

John

[John]

Originally Posted by glsammy

I read this a couple of day's ago John, I honestly didn't know what to say.
Just add me to the long list of friends that's thinking of you and hoping you can get some peace and happiness at the end of this sorry episode.

Best wishes Mate.

Thanks Graham

Much appreciated.

John

[littleT]

Originally Posted by John

Anyway, if anyone out there knows how to track someone down I wouldn't mind knowing how to do it.

I would love to see my dogs again.

John

Not sure myself, but I can ask the hubby.
A mate suggested that if you know which school she went to and other details you may be able to see if she has made an appearance on friends reunited.

Didn't you say a friend of hers had been in touch?? could she provide you with any more information??

I may have only had my dog for 8 months but the idea of not seeing her again......can't bare to think about it!!

Little one

[John]

Originally Posted by littleT

Not sure myself, but I can ask the hubby.
A mate suggested that if you know which school she went to and other details you may be able to see