Man to man help needed

[Chalk Downlanders]

I need help fellas. I have just spent the last half hour Duraglitting the Toaster, Bread bin and kettle. I think I may be turning into a girl.

I have allready tried Beer and Southern Comfort therapy. I've burped the alphabet 3 times, and pumped the room full of loud noxious fumes.

But the ironing needs doing and I still need to change the bed.
HHHHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP

[Alan]

Duraglit's no good! Your toast will smell of parafin lol

Pull yourself together like a man, put your marigolds on, and scrub the whole kitchen with a tooth brush. Go on.

Either that or drink more plonk, then at least it will look cleaner without the work

Domestic Al

[Persephone]

Originally Posted by Alan

Pull yourself together like a man, put your marigolds on

Hahahaha! Love it!

That's what us ladies like to see...a man who can get on his knees and really scrub.

[Mark43]

East Sussex..........hhhmmm......not that far away........is that Southern Comfort still out.

Bagsy i wear the marigolds.

[Alan]

Originally Posted by Persephone

Hahahaha! Love it!

That's what us ladies like to see...a man who can get on his knees and really scrub.

Scrubber in the house lol

You haven't seen me when I get me mop out, it's scary I tell ya, even for me

[Chalk Downlanders]

Originally Posted by Mark43

East Sussex..........hhhmmm......not that far away........is that Southern Comfort still out.

Bagsy i wear the marigolds.

Still a little bit left, but your probebly barking up the wrong tree

Originally Posted by Persephone

Hahahaha! Love it!

That's what us ladies like to see...a man who can get on his knees and really scrub.

The floor is so clean I can see your high heels reflected in it Mistress

Originally Posted by Alan

Duraglit's no good! Your toast will smell of parafin lol

Pull yourself together like a man, put your marigolds on, and scrub the whole kitchen with a tooth brush. Go on.

Either that or drink more plonk, then at least it will look cleaner without the work

Domestic Al

The whole place is shiney and I can't fit any more plonk in Hic

[Persephone]

Originally Posted by Chalk Downlanders

The floor is so clean I can see your high heels reflected in it Mistress

I'm beginning to like this man more and more.

The bedroom needs a spring clean too!

[Wild-Woman]

Chalk-you need to get out more.

[henrya]

Chuck out the vacuum cleaner - the floor only needs cleaning when you can use a shovel! As for ironing, pile up the clean clothes in a big heap - by the time you need them, the ones at the bottom will be pressed flat!

henrya

[Wild-Woman]

ROTFLMHO. Typical man. How funny. Really Henrya!!

[Wild-Woman]

You've just got to use ''the floor only needs cleaning when you have to use a shovel'' as your signature. That's a classic. Love it. Lolol ww

[nightshade]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Marigolds
Call yourself a man,mutter something about your bowels and take to your bed
(plenty of reading material remote control and "medicine") it will all miraculously
be done by the time you re emerge!

[Chalk Downlanders]

Originally Posted by nightshade

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Marigolds
Call yourself a man,mutter something about your bowels and take to your bed
(plenty of reading material remote control and "medicine") it will all miraculously
be done by the time you re emerge!

That won't work in this house. The mice are bone idle, the fish insist on using cold water to do the washing up and my resident family of Jackdoors are scared of the vaccume cleaner.
Oh woe is me. What's a feller to do?

[gmsmith]

I get the mother in-law to do it all Chalk, she just waves her magic wand and all is well again....... She used to be a test pilot in a broomstick factory you know .

[henrya]

In deference to Wild-Woman

henrya

[Wild-Woman]

Yay. Good man. I want that saying burnt into wood and hung over my sons bedrooms!!
I'm chuffed! ww

[henrya]

Quote
I want that saying burnt into wood and hung over my sons bedrooms!!
Endquote

Rats! Another career opportunity gone - someone else will pick up the idea before I can corner the market!

henrya

[Wild-Woman]

Oh no I'm on the floor again laughing-gmsmiths-test pilot in a broomstick factory!!!
You funny lot. Got aching sides now.ww

[Airehead]

Man, have you got this wrong!
What you need is a woman.

[life through a lens]

Apparently if you don't wash your hair it will clean itself after a while.......maybe try this approach with the house and see what happens

[Wild-Woman]

ooooooooo Airhead, gasp, splutter,reaching for the frying pan. You've got 3 seconds to get your male backside outa my way....................

[Captain Kev]

Kev ask yourself these questions:

Do you sit on the settee with the remote to hand watching sports?.
Or do you sit on the settee fluffing cushions and thinking you need to buy more?.

Do you want to go outside and fix that mighty sports car up?.
Or do you want to stay in and finish that engrossing cross stitch?.

Do you feel like playing football/rugby with the kids?
Do you feel like going to the shoe sale?

Feel free to post your preferences on this thread where we posters will give you our clear, unbiased and impartial advice on your Namby pamby, girly, sissy, ladyboy tendencies.

Hope this helps Capt’n

[Chalk Downlanders]

Originally Posted by gmsmith

I get the mother in-law to do it all Chalk, she just waves her magic wand and all is well again....... She used to be a test pilot in a broomstick factory you know .

Small world

Originally Posted by Airehead

Man, have you got this wrong!
What you need is a woman.

I only just got rid of the last one. Swapped her for two magic camels. They turned into mice before I reached the airport.

Originally Posted by life through a lens

Apparently if you don't wash your hair it will clean itself after a while.......maybe try this approach with the house and see what happens

I like my mice IN the cage thanks

Originally Posted by Captain Kev

Kev ask yourself these questions:

Do you sit on the settee with the remote to hand watching sports?.
Or do you sit on the settee fluffing cushions and thinking you need to buy more?.

Do you want to go outside and fix that mighty sports car up?.
Or do you want to stay in and finish that engrossing cross stitch?.

Do you feel like playing football/rugby with the kids?
Do you feel like going to the shoe sale?

Feel free to post your preferences on this thread where we posters will give you our clear, unbiased and impartial advice on your Namby pamby, girly, sissy, ladyboy tendencies.

Hope this helps Capt’n

Eeeerm
Don't like sport, cushions = 2 that's fine.
BMW runs just fine, only get the sowing kit out when I tare something.
No kids, do need new trainers though.

In my defence.
Love computers, violent PC games, woodwork and dream about the Cheeky Girls on a regular basis.

[pheonix]

(is anyone else slightly disturbed by this thread?!!)

I have no problem with cleaning if it needs doing it needs doing, plus ive got a huge wheelie thats solves most things!

[Persephone]

I'm slightly disturbed in the way that I suspect WAB is hoarding the only men in the world WILLING to put on marigolds and clean. Let alone post about it.