embarrasing meeting

[galanthus]

I reluctantly battled the rain and wind this evening to get to a meeting held in a client's home. My colleague hates dogs and I spent the first half hour trying to do the meeting and defend her from the playful family labradoar. He was very friendly and eventually stood in front of me and put his front paws either side of my ears..... he then continued to pin me down and tried to have sex with me on the sofa He had to be pulled off I felt so humiliated lol. It was all I could do to finish the meeting with a very red face and trying not to laugh

Has anyone had any other embarrasing moments at meetins etc. ?

[Wild-Woman]

Years ago, when my other half was at a firm in Essex, I phoned his office one day to find out what time he was likely to be home. I was told by a man that he was in an important meeting and would contact me when he was out. Well, I started saying, what not another meeting and do does Mr X ever let his employees go home and what a dipstick Mr X was, has Mr X got no other life...blah, blah, blah (choice words from me etc etc).Very cooly the man on the other end of the phone said,'This IS Mr X, that you are talking to'.
I wanted the floor to swallow me up. I must have looked like cherry.

Needless to say, Mr X went back to the meeting and explained that he had 'encountered me' on the phone and that the meeting was being foreshortened so that his employees could 'go home!'

He he!

[Brocker]

I have one for you. . It was a meeting for a local camera club. It was my first one and we had a total of eight of us. We met in the pub and all said our hellos and done the introductions. We had our drinks and all sat round a relatively small table. There were a few smokers so there was a large ashtray in the middle. After about five minutes, the conversation just got going and suddenly, I had a totally involuntary sneezing fit. One of those that you do not have time to put your hand over your mouth and comes out with such force that you go dizzy. Unfortunately, the ashtray was quite full and directly in front of me. Every one on the table got covered in this hideous cigarette ash and the chairman had two butts floating in his beer. Not only that, but I had projected the usual nose fluid over the tie of the gentleman opposite (sorry for the detail) I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole but instead I jumped up to assist in clearing up the mess and spilt two unaffected pints in the process. I didn't go back after that evening.

[ChrisJB]

Originally Posted by galanthus

I reluctantly battled the rain and wind this evening to get to a meeting held in a client's home. My colleague hates dogs and I spent the first half hour trying to do the meeting and defend her from the playful family labradoar. He was very friendly and eventually stood in front of me and put his front paws either side of my ears..... he then continued to pin me down and tried to have sex with me on the sofa He had to be pulled off I felt so humiliated lol. It was all I could do to finish the meeting with a very red face and trying not to laugh

Has anyone had any other embarrasing moments at meetins etc. ?

Nowt as good as this. Dogs and their antics crack me up!

Regards, Chris

[ron1863]

I had to get my Yorkie "Milo" snipped at a young age as no cushion was safe from a good humping (Is it o.k. to say that - apologies if not). We had to hide the cushions when visitors arrived.

[galanthus]

Originally Posted by ron1863

I had to get my Yorkie "Milo" snipped at a young age as no cushion was safe from a good humping (Is it o.k. to say that - apologies if not). We had to hide the cushions when visitors arrived.

I was probably one of those cushions in my former life

[galanthus]

Thanx brocker and Jules, I feel so much better lol.

[naturelover]

Originally Posted by Brocker

I have one for you. . It was a meeting for a local camera club. It was my first one and we had a total of eight of us. We met in the pub and all said our hellos and done the introductions. We had our drinks and all sat round a relatively small table. There were a few smokers so there was a large ashtray in the middle. After about five minutes, the conversation just got going and suddenly, I had a totally involuntary sneezing fit. One of those that you do not have time to put your hand over your mouth and comes out with such force that you go dizzy. Unfortunately, the ashtray was quite full and directly in front of me. Every one on the table got covered in this hideous cigarette ash and the chairman had two butts floating in his beer. Not only that, but I had projected the usual nose fluid over the tie of the gentleman opposite (sorry for the detail) I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole but instead I jumped up to assist in clearing up the mess and spilt two unaffected pints in the process. I didn't go back after that evening.

hi brocker just loved your tale,you had my husband and me in stitches,we found it so funny,i bet you didnt though and i can imagin you wanted to get out that pub pretty quick,nice one.

[GME]

Originally Posted by naturelover

hi brocker just loved your tale,you had my husband and me in stitches,we found it so funny.

Brilliant, me too - that's two threads tonight I've just had to laugh out loud to! I can just imagine the scene straight out of a slapstick comedy! Quality

[tigger]

When I was very young (about 18) and just out of college, I went to work as a temporary secretary in a big firm in our local town. I was to be the boss's secretary for the week and it was my first proper job. The boss called me into his office to take some shorthand and as I walked into his office I caught my skirt pocket on the door handle. As I proceeded to walk into the room I managed to completely tear my skirt off. Just leaving me with the waistband. I was sooooooo embarrased, and the boss didn't know where to look. So he dived into his desk draw and handed me two large safety pins (and handed them to me without looking at me). I did manage to retrieve my skirt from the door and sort of "pin" it back on... but that day has stayed with me my entire life. I wonder if he ever thinks about it???

Jane

[Ollie]

Originally Posted by Brocker

I have one for you. . It was a meeting for a local camera club. It was my first one and we had a total of eight of us. We met in the pub and all said our hellos and done the introductions. We had our drinks and all sat round a relatively small table. There were a few smokers so there was a large ashtray in the middle. After about five minutes, the conversation just got going and suddenly, I had a totally involuntary sneezing fit. One of those that you do not have time to put your hand over your mouth and comes out with such force that you go dizzy. Unfortunately, the ashtray was quite full and directly in front of me. Every one on the table got covered in this hideous cigarette ash and the chairman had two butts floating in his beer. Not only that, but I had projected the usual nose fluid over the tie of the gentleman opposite (sorry for the detail) I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole but instead I jumped up to assist in clearing up the mess and spilt two unaffected pints in the process. I didn't go back after that evening.

Oh what a gem, I have just had tears running down my face I laughed that much.

Many thanks for sharing Brocker.
Roger

[Kayleigh]

LOL..you can't make it up.. Keep them coming Iv not laughed so much in ages.

[Tursiops2]

I was just on the sidelines of this one...

About twenty years ago, I did a few weeks work for the Museum of London. It was a small, but challenging, excavation on the Thames foreshore at the Tower of London; a sample trench of a narrow bank of tidal shingle at the river's edge, only accessible by boat at low tide.

Our HQ was one of the small pleasure cruisers that ply the tourist trade on the Thames, hired for the duration and moored out in the river. Every lunchtime, we'd be boated back to base to eat, and one of us would go ashore on a shopping run, keeping in touch with HQ by walkie-talkie.

One lunchtime, towards the end of the dig, our director was required to attend a meeting with some local bigwigs - you know, representatives of the Royal Armouries, the Port of London Authority, the River Police - nobody really important . He took his walkie-talkie with him.

When he got to the venue, he put his radio on the table... and forgot to switch it off. Halfway through the meeting, it startles everyone by crackling to life, and over the airwaves comes the following exchange:

"Base to 568, over."
"568 receiving, over"
"568, make that three Mars Bars please, over"

Apparently, everyone just cracked up

[NickCantle]

Lmao

That's a good one. I'll see what I can do for tomorrow

[Dan Salter]

Originally Posted by tigger

When I was very young (about 18) and just out of college, I went to work as a temporary secretary in a big firm in our local town. I was to be the boss's secretary for the week and it was my first proper job. The boss called me into his office to take some shorthand and as I walked into his office I caught my skirt pocket on the door handle. As I proceeded to walk into the room I managed to completely tear my skirt off. Just leaving me with the waistband. I was sooooooo embarrased, and the boss didn't know where to look. So he dived into his desk draw and handed me two large safety pins (and handed them to me without looking at me). I did manage to retrieve my skirt from the door and sort of "pin" it back on... but that day has stayed with me my entire life. I wonder if he ever thinks about it???

Jane

Oh trust me....if he is still alive he most definately still thinks about it!...infact i doubt he has stopped thinking about it

[Dutchess]

One of my Samoyeds was really adept at stealing people's leather goods.

1) My mate Chris's very expensive biker gloves. She soon yammed those up behind the chair while we were chatting. (Yes, he's still my friend, 20 years later! )

2) Shaun's snazzy leather lacket. Again - she sneaked off behind the chair with it and chewed off the collar. As neat as if you'd cut it with dressmaking shears! Yes, Shaun saw the funny side too and was still friends with this red-faced owner of the genuine "I've gotta survive" husky....

3) A pair of ladies brown leather gloves. Found inside my dear doggie's tum when she died of unexplained circumstances at 12 and a half years of age. We never did find out who they belonged to....They'd been there some time the 'vet reckoned, twisted up around themselves. The gloves were not to blame btw, she had cast iron guts, having nicked and downed 2lbs of sugar (and also a bag of slug pellets in her long life!!!!)

She also had a penchant for the gusset of knickers, and the toes off of tights...!!!

No dignity, that's what you can expect when you own a Sam!

I love dogs

D.

[Bub-les]

Watch out for slug pellets I had a dog who I thought wasn't interested but she ate quite a few one day and died a horrible death. It was only after she had died at the vets within an hour of eating them that he found out what she'd eaten. Not a nice experience. So please keep slug pellets well out of reach of any dog.

Enjoying the thread.

[Dutchess]

Bub-les:

Too true. As with the sugar - it was 50 - 50.

Both were up out of the way - or so we thought.

D.

[galanthus]

Originally Posted by tigger

When I was very young (about 18) and just out of college, I went to work as a temporary secretary in a big firm in our local town. I was to be the boss's secretary for the week and it was my first proper job. The boss called me into his office to take some shorthand and as I walked into his office I caught my skirt pocket on the door handle. As I proceeded to walk into the room I managed to completely tear my skirt off. Just leaving me with the waistband. I was sooooooo embarrased, and the boss didn't know where to look. So he dived into his desk draw and handed me two large safety pins (and handed them to me without looking at me). I did manage to retrieve my skirt from the door and sort of "pin" it back on... but that day has stayed with me my entire life. I wonder if he ever thinks about it???

Jane

OMG you poor poor thing

Some great anecdotes here making me giggle out loud

[Brocker]

Originally Posted by Ollie

Oh what a gem, I have just had tears running down my face I laughed that much.

Many thanks for sharing Brocker.
Roger

I am glad you have found it amusing . There is a follow up story to this. I had a bit of a complex after that incident and now when I have meetings, important or not, I always have a hanky with me. . . There was another occasion where I had a date and took this lady for a drink, in a pub I duly cleared the table of all ashtrays etc. On this occasion, I did have a bit of a cold so prepared myself for that sneeze. . . and it came. I felt it coming so placed the hanky over my nose and mouth pushed away from the table a little and then let it go. All in a very controlled way. This time with the force of the sneeze,I threw my head forward and hit my head on the edge of the table. . . My date laughed hysterically and after that we got on like a house on fire. In fact, I married her.

[naturelover]

years ago when my dog was with us,i also had three cats at the same time,i put a joint of beef on slow cook in the oven,i had to go out and the beef wasnt quite coocked enough for me,so i told my 15 year old son to give it another hour then turn the cooker off,he turned the cooker off and took the meat out of the oven putting it on the bench top to cool,then went out with his mates forgetting about the meat,i came home to find tin foil licked clean,tin licked clean,and a bone all on the kitchen floor,shandy my dog in her basket looking very sheepish,i knew she couldnt have reached it so the cats must have pulled it on the floor then they all had a good tuck in,we had sosages for dinner that day.

[tigger]

Here's another one for you. I seem to have trouble with clothes!

I went to a restaurant with three friends. Bit of a posh place. I was wearing a really expensive white linen dress.

As the waiter came round with the wine he somehow managed to pour red wine all over my front.

Lots of staff rushing around, trying to dab at the dress in a really embarrassed way. Me going red with fury and slapping their hands away. In the end they took me behind the scenes and suggested to wash the dress.

It did need to get rinsed in water (otherwise I knew the stain wouldn't come out) so I spent the rest of the evening in the owners dressing gown eating my dinner.... how embarrassing was that....

PS the wine was corker and the food was awful!