Well, if blokes driving cars can be considered so why not?
__________________________________________
It's been a busy week in the north-east, which has been giving the
government a headache. We had the anonymous junior clerk and his
missing post, David Abrahams and his donations, and now pigeon racing
enthusiasts and their campaign to have the activity recognised as a
sport.
There was outcry when members of the Belford Racing Pigeon Club in
Northumberland discovered it would have to start paying business tax
rates on a small shed where members keep their race baskets.
Sports clubs don't have to pay the HM Revenue and Customs levy, but
the Inland Revenue does not recognise pigeon racing as a sport,
despite activities like arm wrestling, Octopush (underwater hockey)
and skipping all being exempt from tax.
Eric Sim, a pigeon owner and the chairman of the Club, told the BBC:
"Pigeon racing has been recognised as a sport for well over 100 years
and this latest turn of events will cause many clubs to struggle to
make ends meet. It seems so unfair and shows what a cheeseparing
attitude the treasury can adopt."
The club made an appeal to the patron of the Royal Pigeon Racing
Association, none other than the Queen herself, to have the activity
reclassified.
The government has now pledged to rethink the imposition of business
tax rates, with the communities secretary, Hazel Blears, saying she
will "look again" at the rules for business rates. This delighted
Geoff O'Connell, the Berwick independent councillor for Belford who
was involved in the campaign: "I am delighted to see that the
government's pigeon policy seems to have finally come home to roost!"
__________________________________________
Alec Rapkin, first and current Poet Laureate of the Peak, will soon
come to the end of his two-year tenure. Described by David Gilbert of
Arts in the Peak as a "great success, producing powerful and
evocative work during the last two years", Rapkin published 25 poems
that were published on the Arts in the Peak and Peak District
National Park websites.
Now a competition has been launched to find his successor. Judges will
be looking for a local writer who "inspires a deeper appreciation of
the landscape, its moods, influence and heritage". Entrants are
invited to submit three recently written poems, two of which should
have been inspired by the Peak.
The Northerner is inviting readers to submit a Peak District haiku or
short verse. The best will be published in next week's Northerner. A
colleague has already submitted his entry:
O natural wonders of the Derbyshire Peak! 'Tis of thy joys I haste to
speak!
__________________________________________
It may have come as a surprise to northerners that one of London's
most famous voices actually comes from Altrincham, Cheshire. Emma
Clarke hit headlines this week when her employers sacked her for not
getting the tube to work. Seems a bit unfair given that it must be
rather disturbing to hear yourself telling yourself to "mind the gap"
every time you catch the London Underground.
The voiceover artist, who has been gently cajoling millions of LU
commuters since 1999, produced a series of spoof announcements in
which she told filthy perverts pretending to read newspapers to stop
staring at women's chests, and American tourists that they were
talking too loudly. Shame they have to remain spoof announcements.
The send-ups, on her website, caught the attention of the Mail on
Sunday, which requested an interview. After being quoted as saying
that she stopped using the tube because it was "dreadful", she was
promptly informed via the media that she was sacked. While London
Underground accepted that "some of the spoof announcements are very
funny", management felt "Emma is a bit silly to go round slagging off
her client's services".
Clarke claims her quotes were taken out of context: "I did not say
that the Northern line was dreadful ... What I did say was dreadful
was the thought of being in a tube train listening to my own voice."
This triggered off what Clarke calls a "media tsunami": "The phone
rang off the hook. TV companies wanted interviews. The press was
emailing me for statements and more interviews. I received hundreds
of emails, mostly from supportive commuters, but there were a few
nasties too ..."
Her website went into "meltdown" under the sheer number of people
wanting to hear what she has to say about dirty perverts and
Americans. The site is back online after being down for a couple days
with the following notice: "Hi - thanks for stopping by.
Unfortunately, my site is currently overwhelmed by the sheer number
of people wanting to download MP3s of my spoof tube announcements.
Please check back in a day or so."
Since she began in LU, Clarke has been receiving fan mail and requests
for MP3s of her announcements. But this week's events have built her
up an even bigger fan base, with no less than three Facebook groups
dedicated to her reinstatement. These include Give Emma Clarke a
Knighthood, which thinks LU are "a bunch of spineless nannying
oeoeoeoeoe", and "TfL are oeoeoeoe for sacking Emma Clarke".
The Emma Clarke (Voice of the London Underground) Appreciation Society
has very supportive messages such as: 'We love EMMA! We love EMMA! We
love EMMA! We love EMMA!" The site has a link to Transport for
London's complaints site so members can "complain... about their
thoughtless and cruel treatment of our Em". Unfortunately it is not
very clear on how to do this. The site is one of those with drop-down
lists, and while you can complain about station facilities or
ambience/environment, there isn't a "thoughtless and cruel treatment
of our Em" option.
In light of this week's "media tsunami", as Clarke called it on a
Guardian Unlimited blog, one of her spoof announcements seems
appropriate: "Would the passenger in the pinstripe suit and GBP1,000
glasses who obviously works in the media please take one step forward
on to the track?"
_________________________________________
Meanwhile, over in the Lake District, cashpoint fraudsters in Kirkby
Lonsdale have been setting a good example by donating stolen money to
charity.
After using Rachel Begg's debit card to buy over GBP400 worth of
goods, including mobile phones, the conscientious thieves made a GBP2
online donation to the Red Cross. Begg told the Westmoreland Gazette
that she was "amazed" at the donation: "Perhaps that's something they
do to ease the guilt."
DAVID WARD RECOMMENDS ...
Mersey: The river that changed the world, a multimedia project
celebrating the rebirth of the River Mersey. While it stops short of
comparing the Mersey to the Nile, the book claims that "the
industrial civilisation which started on the Mersey's banks changed
the world physically, culturally and musically - and in India and
China is still doing so today".
The book looks at the river's connection with myriad subjects from
politics to music, and at its revival of late with new opportunities
for maritime trade, regeneration and ecological rebirth.
NORTHERN NEWSPAPERS
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