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15-09-2007, 01:08 PM
|  | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Surrey
Posts: 879
| | | For all cat lovers
A friend sent me this a while ago, thought i'd share with you, Maybe you have similar to share with us.
CAT DEFINITIONS
Aquarium: interactive television for cats.
Cat: 1. A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.
2. A four footed allergen.
3. A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.
4. A small, furry lap fungus.
5. A treat-seeking missile.
6. A wildlife control expert.
7. One who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes.
8. A hair relocation expert.
9. An unprogrammable animal.
Cataclysm: Any great upheaval in a cat's life.
Catatonic: A feline medicinal drink.
Caterpillar: A soft scratching post for a cat.
Cat Scan: To look for a new cat.
Dog: A cat's device for running practice.
Door: Something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.
Energy: The element of vitality cats always have an oversupply of until you try to play with them.
Human: An automatic door opener for cats.
Impurrsonate: To act like the cat.
Kitten: A small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.
Purrade: An organized march of cats.
Purradise: The garden of Cats.
Purramour: A cat lover.
Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
Purraphernalia: A cat's personal belongings.
Purrch: Any favored feline napping spot.
Purrchase: Anything bought for a cat.
Purrfume: The scent of an open can of tuna.
Purrgatory: A houseful of kittens.
Purrmission: A feline hunting expedition.
Purrpetual: Everlasting feline love.
Purrplex: A house with two or more cats.
Purrson: A male kitten.
Purrsuit: The garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.
Purrverse: A poem about a wicked kitty.
Tooraloorailurophobia: An irrational fear of Irish cats.
Tuner: Sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.
Yawn: A cat's honest opinion openly expressed.
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Life tells you nothing, It shows you everything!!!
-Bach |
15-09-2007, 03:43 PM
|  | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: N.E.SOMERSET
Posts: 6,455
| | | Re: For all cat lovers
ROFL We have been adopted by a Chunky Persian-Faced Black Tom(still firing on all cylinders) he is sitting on my lap reading this with me with a sneer on his face
(he may have got this as the result of a near-miss with a car) 
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You cannot maintain an ecology, if you lose any of the pieces. |
15-09-2007, 04:13 PM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Somerset, UK
Posts: 1,066
| | | Re: For all cat lovers
Quote: |
A small homicidal muffin on legs
| ROFL I love that. I'm going to send this to my cat lover friends if you don't mind  .
My cat Billy often gets something into his head and marches into the garden with great purpose and somebody usually says 'Stand back! Cat on a Mission!' 
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I ♥ Bill Oddie. So there. |
15-09-2007, 04:59 PM
|  | Wild Member | | Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 222
| | | Re: For all cat lovers
Hmm. Just been cleaning the house.
Have you ever noticed that the only thing cat hair doesn't stick to is a cat? |
15-09-2007, 05:04 PM
|  | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: North Lincolnshire
Posts: 6,507
| | | Re: For all cat lovers
Not quite the same but similar, did you know that Florence Nightingale was a great cat lover owning many cats in her time (or rather I should have said they owned her) and she often complained of mysterious stains on her paperwork
Roger |
15-09-2007, 05:04 PM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Lancashire
Posts: 2,678
| | | Re: For all cat lovers
Quote:
Originally Posted by zharca  Hmm. Just been cleaning the house.
Have you ever noticed that the only thing cat hair doesn't stick to is a cat? | I don't have a cat but I can believe it. I have two Cavalier Spaniels and by all accounts they should be bald now . |
15-09-2007, 08:53 PM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Derbyshire
Posts: 1,732
| | | Re: For all cat lovers
I dont like cats but its still very good
jen xxx | | |
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