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02-09-2007, 05:08 PM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bewdley
Posts: 2,969
| | | Nature Jokes
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02-09-2007, 05:30 PM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Lincolnshire/Cambs/Norfolk border right on The Wash
Posts: 2,170
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesawus?
What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog? Doyouthinkhesawus Rex.
BoomBoom!!
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I am intelligent enough to think I know the answers, and stupid enough to believe I do! |
02-09-2007, 05:35 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bewdley
Posts: 2,969
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Garden Carpet  What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesawus?
What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog? Doyouthinkhesawus Rex.
BoomBoom!! | I wasn't going to reply as i thought it be best to just read and giggle but now that i have this might be last reply but if you like some feedback  |
02-09-2007, 05:51 PM
|  | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Brighton
Posts: 277
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
What do you call a man with Rabbits up his jumper? - Warren!
This is part of a series of equally lame jokes including...
What do you call a man with loads of crisp packets up his jumper? Russell
What do you call a man with a plank on his head? Edward ('ed-wood, geddit?!)
What do you call a man with two planks on his head? Edward Woodward
I'll stop now, as I appear to be going off message.
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The best things in life aren't things. |
02-09-2007, 06:02 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bewdley
Posts: 2,969
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by svenrufus What do you call a man with Rabbits up his jumper? - Warren!
This is part of a series of equally lame jokes including...
What do you call a man with loads of crisp packets up his jumper? Russell
What do you call a man with a plank on his head? Edward ('ed-wood, geddit?!)
What do you call a man with two planks on his head? Edward Woodward
I'll stop now, as I appear to be going off message. | what do you call edward wood wood without any d's? Ewarwoowar |
02-09-2007, 06:54 PM
| | Frozen | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The sunny West Midlands.
Posts: 1,133
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jez Anybody got any that we can all LOL? | A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies: "I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!" |
02-09-2007, 07:01 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bewdley
Posts: 2,969
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
love it! by the way next time your in bewd pay us a visit would like to meet another WABster  |
02-09-2007, 07:12 PM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: N.Yorkshire
Posts: 1,908
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
I can predict this is going to be a popular thread Jez - well done lol!
>
>
>
A family of Moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father Mole stuck his head out of the Mole hill and looked around. "Mother Mole" he called back down the hole, "Come up here, I smell honey, lovely fresh honey!"
The mother Mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!"
The baby Mole, still down in the hole was sulking, "I can't smell anything down here but moleasses....."
Sorry, twas that a bit rude lol!  |
02-09-2007, 07:58 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bewdley
Posts: 2,969
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
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02-09-2007, 07:58 PM
| | Frozen | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The sunny West Midlands.
Posts: 1,133
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jez love it! by the way next time your in bewd pay us a visit would like to meet another WABster | Would love to.
Keith. |
02-09-2007, 08:05 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bewdley
Posts: 2,969
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by kshotton45 Would love to.
Keith. | i'll post you! |
02-09-2007, 08:32 PM
| | Frozen | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The sunny West Midlands.
Posts: 1,133
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Huge white horse walks into a bar and asks for a single malt.
Barman pours the malt and, as they do, says to the horse, "Do you know, we've got a whisky in here called after you?"
"Really," the horse replies surprised, "Eric?" |
02-09-2007, 08:33 PM
|  | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Clacton-on-Sea, Essex
Posts: 267
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
y do bears have fur coats ?
Because they'd look stupid in anoraks ! 
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".
The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"
The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."
Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.
The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!" |
02-09-2007, 08:35 PM
| | Frozen | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The sunny West Midlands.
Posts: 1,133
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Cazzie walks into a bar with a newt on her shoulder. She says I'll have a scotch and a beer for 'Tiny' here. The bartender says 'Why do you call him Tiny?' Cazzie replies 'Beacause he's my newt'. |
02-09-2007, 08:38 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: N.Yorkshire
Posts: 1,908
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
^ ROFL! Sssshhhh! I told you not to tell anyone about the newt!  |
02-09-2007, 08:40 PM
| | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Clacton-on-Sea, Essex
Posts: 267
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
There was a man, called Paddywhack, who worked in a very prestigious bank. One day a frog came in asking for a car loan. So he gave the frog the loan application papers. As the frog was filling them out, Paddywhack was looking over his shoulder. In the space for 'Father' the frog wrote in 'Mick Jagger'. Paddywhack said nothing. Then he asked the frog if he had enough money for a deposit. The frog said he didn't but produced a strange looking colourful glass sculpture that he said was worth a whole heap of money. Paddywhack said he'd have to talk to his boss about this, so he took the forms and the glass sculpture into his boss' office. He told his boss about the papers and asked him if he knew what the sculpture was. To which his boss replied,
"It's a nic nac Paddywhack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!" |
02-09-2007, 08:43 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: N.Yorkshire
Posts: 1,908
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Love it Amiguru!
I've got one that is a wee bit naughty (play on words sorta one) can I post it? It is hilarious!!!! |
02-09-2007, 08:44 PM
| | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Clacton-on-Sea, Essex
Posts: 267
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.  |
02-09-2007, 08:50 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bewdley
Posts: 2,969
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amiguru Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers. | funny i love it |
02-09-2007, 08:59 PM
| | Frozen | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The sunny West Midlands.
Posts: 1,133
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
A Rabbit walks in to the butchers and says to the butcher "Have you got any lettuce?"
The Butcher replies," No, this is a butchers, you need the grocers just down the road".
He comes back the next day "Got any lettuce?"
"I've told you, the Grocers is down the road! Get out!"
Next day "Got any lettuce?"
"I'VE TOLD YOU ALREADY, THE GROCERS IS DOWN THE ROAD! And if you come back tomorrow I am going to nail your ears to the floor!"
Next day the Rabbit popped his head into the Butchers, " Got any nails ?".
"No.", said the Butcher
"Got any lettuce?" |
02-09-2007, 09:48 PM
|  | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Fareham, UK
Posts: 467
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by kshotton45 A Rabbit walks in to the butchers and says to the butcher "Have you got any lettuce?"
The Butcher replies," No, this is a butchers, you need the grocers just down the road".
He comes back the next day "Got any lettuce?"
"I've told you, the Grocers is down the road! Get out!"
Next day "Got any lettuce?"
"I'VE TOLD YOU ALREADY, THE GROCERS IS DOWN THE ROAD! And if you come back tomorrow I am going to nail your ears to the floor!"
Next day the Rabbit popped his head into the Butchers, " Got any nails ?".
"No.", said the Butcher
"Got any lettuce?" | Oh help me - this one has me chuckling like a loon |
02-09-2007, 11:05 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: N.Yorkshire
Posts: 1,908
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
^ |
03-09-2007, 12:41 AM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Derbyshire
Posts: 1,732
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by kshotton45 A Rabbit walks in to the butchers and says to the butcher "Have you got any lettuce?"
The Butcher replies," No, this is a butchers, you need the grocers just down the road".
He comes back the next day "Got any lettuce?"
"I've told you, the Grocers is down the road! Get out!"
Next day "Got any lettuce?"
"I'VE TOLD YOU ALREADY, THE GROCERS IS DOWN THE ROAD! And if you come back tomorrow I am going to nail your ears to the floor!"
Next day the Rabbit popped his head into the Butchers, " Got any nails ?".
"No.", said the Butcher
"Got any lettuce?" | Very good
jen xxx |
03-09-2007, 01:11 AM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Derbyshire
Posts: 1,732
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
A tramp go's to a fair and has a go on hook a duck and wins, the man at the stall gives the tramp a tortoise.
An hour later the tramp returns and has another go..he wins again, the man on the stall says "well done what would you like this time?"
The tramps says "Can i have one of those crusty meat pies i had last time"
jen xxx |
03-09-2007, 06:38 AM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Hidden in the clover
Posts: 1,454
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cazzie
I've got one that is a wee bit naughty (play on words sorta one) can I post it? It is hilarious!!!! | I've got one like that too Cazzie! Does yours involve an Ocelot?!!!
TBR | | |
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