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02-10-2007, 08:26 AM
|  | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Andover
Posts: 998
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cazzie  Could be, but I spelt his name wrong... should be Basil as I saw keyring toys being flogged in Barclays today and realised I'd spelt it wrong doh! 
Anyways, if I'm now Sybil, then you must now be 'Bruce Willis' from moonlighting!....  Cooooooor!  | Did you mention the Cooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrs, don't mind which one you are as long as it's not the bloke, in fact I do mind, you'll have to be the lead singer Andrea Cooooor blimey
Just checked your mug shot pics, Cazzie cooooor
Bruce WD
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sdrawkcab backwards is backwards |
02-10-2007, 02:09 PM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Derbyshire
Posts: 1,734
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Cazzie i think you have pulled!!! 
jen xxx |
02-10-2007, 04:43 PM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: N.Yorkshire.... The Dales... can't beat it tbh
Posts: 1,915
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Think I have!!!!
Thanks for the compliment Bruce
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Please feed your hedgehogs!!! ;) |
02-10-2007, 11:03 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Derbyshire
Posts: 1,734
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Whats the definition of a caterpillar??
A worm in a fur coat!!! 
jen xxx |
02-10-2007, 11:04 PM
|  | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Shepshed, Leicestershire
Posts: 814
| |  Re: Nature Jokes
Two out of work Irishmen walking through a forest came to the gate of a woodyard on which was a notice saying 'Tree Fellers wanted' Seamus turned to Patrick with a glum face and said "There you are Patrick, if we'd brought Murphy with us we could have got that job"
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'Always' and 'Never' are words not to be used without 'Certainty' |
02-10-2007, 11:07 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: N.Yorkshire.... The Dales... can't beat it tbh
Posts: 1,915
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackbrook Eye Two out of work Irishmen walking through a forest came to the gate of a woodyard on which was a notice saying 'Tree Fellers wanted' Seamus turned to Patrick with a glum face and said "There you are Patrick, if we'd brought Murphy with us we could have got that job" | I liked that one lol!
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Please feed your hedgehogs!!! ;) |
03-10-2007, 08:27 AM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Derbyshire
Posts: 1,734
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool??
It had mittens....
jen xxx |
03-10-2007, 10:26 AM
| | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Andover
Posts: 998
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cazzie Think I have!!!!
Thanks for the compliment Bruce |
As the saying goes "Get your Hedgehog you've pulled"
BWD
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sdrawkcab backwards is backwards |
04-10-2007, 11:49 AM
|  | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Surrey
Posts: 879
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdurbo Whats the definition of a caterpillar??
A worm in a fur coat!!!
jen xxx | still finding some good ones then he he
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Life tells you nothing, It shows you everything!!!
-Bach |
04-10-2007, 11:22 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Derbyshire
Posts: 1,734
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Im trying!!! where have you been??
jen xxx |
05-10-2007, 09:59 PM
|  | Wild Member | | Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: bridgwater somerset
Posts: 198
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
My kids told me this one today it tickled me so I thought I'd share.
What do you call a crazy flea flying around the moon?
A lunar-tic.
Fi.X X X X
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If it has a heartbeat no matter how small, it lives and has a purpose. |
05-10-2007, 10:13 PM
| | Wild Member | | Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 126
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cazzie
Anyways, if I'm now Sybil, then you must now be 'Bruce Willis' from moonlighting!.... Cooooooor! | Sorry to butt in on your posts, but he could always be Basil Fawlty 
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Of all the things I've lost, it's my mind I miss the most. |
08-10-2007, 10:06 PM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bewdley
Posts: 3,682
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdurbo What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool??
It had mittens....
jen xxx | Like it Jen, my ribs have been tickled. Is it that worm of yours? There could be a New West End Hit- Jenny and Her Technicolour Coat Wardrobe/ Chronicles of Narnia.
Would your Favourite flowers besides Roses (i remembered) be Jdurbera by any chance? |
08-10-2007, 11:17 PM
| | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 394
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Sorry if this one is a repeat.
What do you call a Fly with no Wings??
A Walk....
Its a bit sad, but that one always cracks me up. |
08-10-2007, 11:32 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bewdley
Posts: 3,682
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
I can never rember the Snail jokes that my mate comes up with but i have instantly thought of a classic whilst i am now typing. So Brace yourselves for the laughter and whilst i go into hiding.
Q. What Service station do snails top up at?
You won't get it!
A. SHELL!
Get it? SHELL? No
No Mates Me |
09-10-2007, 02:14 AM
| | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Shepshed, Leicestershire
Posts: 814
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Q. What is the commonest Owl in the world ?
A. Teet
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'Always' and 'Never' are words not to be used without 'Certainty' |
09-10-2007, 02:24 AM
| | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Shepshed, Leicestershire
Posts: 814
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Why did the Hedgehog cross the road ?
He was looking for his flat mate
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'Always' and 'Never' are words not to be used without 'Certainty' |
09-10-2007, 05:35 AM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Derbyshire
Posts: 1,734
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jez Like it Jen, my ribs have been tickled. Is it that worm of yours? There could be a New West End Hit- Jenny and Her Technicolour Coat Wardrobe/ Chronicles of Narnia.
Would your Favourite flowers besides Roses (i remembered) be Jdurbera by any chance? | You remember but where are they?? im still waiting 
jen xxx |
09-10-2007, 09:05 AM
|  | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Chilterns
Posts: 8,091
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
a hill farmer is standin with his flock on a hill side, when he is amazed to see a BMW X5 bouncing accros the ground towards him, a smartly dressed young man jumps out and strides up to the farmer.
"if i can tell you how many sheep you have , will you give me one" he asks
the farmer considers this the nods "eh why not"
so the young man whips out a laptop, logs on to the net , accesses google earth, ports the image into his specialist software , runs the analysis - then after 30 or so minuites grins and says "you have precicely 134 sheep"
the farmer nods , and the young man joyfully selects an animal and stuff it in the back of his X5.
just as hes about to leave the farmer says " If i can tell you what your job is , will you give it back ?"
the young man nods , and the farmer says "easy son , you're a consultant"
amazed the young man says " thats right but how could you possibly know"
and the farmer says " well you turned up here uninvited , to answer a question i hadnt asked, using pointless technology to give me an answer i already knew, and you know nowt about my buisness..... now give me my flipping dog back ! "
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"new improved eeyore , now with added tact..... for that whiter brighter finish" |
09-10-2007, 10:42 AM
| | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Surrey
Posts: 879
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdurbo Im trying!!! where have you been??
jen xxx | Oh no, your not missing me are you???? 
Im away working in the sticks. Only have access to the net weekly
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Life tells you nothing, It shows you everything!!!
-Bach |
09-10-2007, 10:43 AM
| | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Surrey
Posts: 879
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdurbo You remember but where are they?? im still waiting
jen xxx |
waiting........
Roast dinner  ....
waiting.......
he he
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Life tells you nothing, It shows you everything!!!
-Bach |
09-10-2007, 10:44 AM
| | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Surrey
Posts: 879
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by eeyore a hill farmer is standin with his flock on a hill side, when he is amazed to see a BMW X5 bouncing accros the ground towards him, a smartly dressed young man jumps out and strides up to the farmer.
"if i can tell you how many sheep you have , will you give me one" he asks
the farmer considers this the nods "eh why not"
so the young man whips out a laptop, logs on to the net , accesses google earth, ports the image into his specialist software , runs the analysis - then after 30 or so minuites grins and says "you have precicely 134 sheep"
the farmer nods , and the young man joyfully selects an animal and stuff it in the back of his X5.
just as hes about to leave the farmer says " If i can tell you what your job is , will you give it back ?"
the young man nods , and the farmer says "easy son , you're a consultant"
amazed the young man says " thats right but how could you possibly know"
and the farmer says " well you turned up here uninvited , to answer a question i hadnt asked, using pointless technology to give me an answer i already knew, and you know nowt about my buisness..... now give me my flipping dog back ! " |
he he, one of your best so far
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Life tells you nothing, It shows you everything!!!
-Bach |
09-10-2007, 11:25 PM
| | Active Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somerset
Posts: 85
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Which singer is liked by poultry?
Henya!
Which pop group is the favourite of river-dwelling rodents? Mink Floyd!
Which modern group is enjoyed by tropical fish?
The Krillers! |
09-10-2007, 11:37 PM
| | Active Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somerset
Posts: 85
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
As Krill can be found in cold waters too, perhaps the ones that live there are into Coldplay!
More musical animals now . . . polar bears and penguins enjoy Snow Patrol, pelicans like Bill Collins, cockroaches love The Beatles, birds enjoy The Eagles or Chris de Bird and felines like Cat Stevens! |
10-10-2007, 06:36 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bewdley
Posts: 3,682
| | | Re: Nature Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by aestarte My kids told me this one today it tickled me so I thought I'd share.
What do you call a crazy flea flying around the moon?
A lunar-tic.
Fi.X X X X | A good one Fi
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watch how colours of bright gold & green appear after I say the magic words...."Eranthis Hyemalis" | | | | |
