Another dam letter!

[zharca]

Reading the swearing thread reminded me of this:

letter from the environment agency

The guy who originally sent it to me swears* it's real. i'm not entirely sure, but it makes me smile anyway.




*bad choice of phrase

[ron1863]

Absolutely Brilliant

[peppermint]

very amusing

[Wild-Woman]

Excellent stuff. Love it!

[glsammy]

One of the funniest items I've seen for ages! I'd have loved to see their response to that brilliant letter!

[zharca]

It's very comforting to know I'm not the only person spending his afternoons not getting any work done

[Ollie]

What a laugh this gave me. Brilliant stuff. Thanks for posting
Roger

[seamusagleann]

absolute excellence ...and do they REALLY use a certain brand of toilet roll as seen on tv ?...

[stirling]

Very funny,made my day,you would have thought they would have known what it was.
Best from mike.

[cresshead101]

hahaha! you beavery funny.....*silence*
roflao yaaay! you can always count on Beavers to be hilarious!

[Kymba]

That has to be one of the funniest things i have read in a long time.. I have saved it in my fav's its that good.. thankyou for sharing it with us

[medieval knievel]

Originally Posted by zharca

The guy who originally sent it to me swears* it's real. i'm not entirely sure, but it makes me smile anyway.

it's true:
Urban Legends Reference Pages: Beaver Dam Letter

[zharca]

Originally Posted by medieval knievel

it's true:
Urban Legends Reference Pages: Beaver Dam Letter

Well, being kinda sceptical, I tried to look it up and found that there wasn't a "Pennsylvania department of environmental quality", only a "Department of Environmental Protection" so i thought it was a spoof. Great to hear it.s real!

[naturelover]

love it ha ha

[Billy Wobble Dagger]

Excellent, can I add this letter to the thread. I don't know if it is true or not but it wouldn't surprise me. Sent to SofS DEFRA re pigs!!!

BWD



The Rt Hon David Miliband MP
Secretary of State,
Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA),
Nobel House
17 Smith Square
London SW1P 3JR

16 May 2007

Dear Secretary of State,

My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for GBP3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs.

I would now like to join the "not rearing pigs" business. In your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on and which is the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy.

I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you want not rearing, I will just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots, or are there too many people already not rearing these? As I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping an accurate record of how many pigs I haven't reared. Are there any Government or Local Authority courses on this?

My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was GBP1,422 in 1968. That is - until this year, when he received a cheque for not rearing any. If I get GBP3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get GBP6,000 for not rearing 100? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about GBP240,000 for the first year. As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to be more ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in my second year, for which I should expect about GBP2.4 million from your department.

Incidentally, I wonder if I would be eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all these pigs not producing harmful and polluting methane gases? Another point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs I don't rear?

I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send any information you have on that too. Please could you also include the current DEFRA advice on set aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several thousand hectares)?

In view of the above, you will realise that I will be totally unemployed, and will therefore qualify for unemployment benefits. I shall of course be voting for your party at the next general election.

Yours faithfully,

[zharca]

A real gem! I do hope it was really sent.

Now what I need is a government grant for not getting any work done