a few thoughts i felt compelled to share

[almostnormal]

i feel compelled, after a number of weeks of surveying and field work, to share with all wabbers, my thoughts on field work…(these are my own point of view, and i hope you will neither take offence, or a wall, when you read this)

…. the wonderful world of field work. why is it wonderful you ask? well because it means being outside in the countryside in the lovely sunshine rather than stuck indoors. sounds alright you say? well let me tell you something. it. is. a. nightmare. sure its sunny and warm and it means you're getting a tan, but i'll tell you what. its marred. marred by: the evil biting insects. they clearly think i'm a walking buffet. its a hazard of fieldwork, goes with the territory, but i'm so unimpressed. before i go out into the great outdoors i dose myself head to toe in DEET the apparently fullproof insect repellent. does it work you ask? i'm still bitten half to death by mosquitoes, midges, horseflies, clegs and any other vicious blood sucking six legged (or occasionally eight legged) horror that should be used as an alien in a film. once you've dealt with the bugs (usually by waving your clipboard around so anyone passing assumes you've escaped from the local loony bin) you're constantly dodging barbed wire, brambles, spiky thorned bushes that grow all over the place, trying to undo gates tied with barbed wire or string so tight you could accidentally decapitate yourself, gates that suddenly, without any warning, swing open and dump you in a muddy pile, or even worse, a muddy pile that’s not actually mud. even if all this hasn't deterred you (you're very hardy if you haven't given up and cried yet) there's the inevitable livestock. don't believe it if anyone ever tells you "arr, it'll be alright, them cows 'll not bother ya". they are lying! the herd of cows will stalk you round the field, chase you across the field and see you leaping over the gate/fence/wall with a speed you'd not think possible.

there is one other thing makes it rubbish. pants. total pain in the behind. its called RAIN. and it puts a real dampener on any day spent surveying the glorious and great outdoors.

its not the rain itself that causes the problems. in fact when its like today, very humid and hot, rain can be fantastic. it cools you off, relieves the unbearable stickiness that inevitably comes before a storm, gives everything that glorious damp springy feeling and causes the sweet aroma of wet grass. plus it gives us those big puddles to go and jump up and down in in our wellies. and, major bonus, causes a few moments respite from the evil bugg. nope, its that everything gets wet. and therein lies the problem. have you ever tried writing on wet paper with a biro? no? lucky you. let me help out there, it doesn't work. for some unfathomable reason, biro's just won't write on damp paper, or if its raining. fountain pens write, but the minute you get a splosh of rain it runs into little blue puddles on the page and becomes illegible, and so you're left with the ever reliable pencil. except the ever reliable pencil comes with a few problems of its own. first off, it needs sharpening and if, like me, you buy the i'm-a-recycled-cup variety you can't leave the shavings lying around. so you end up carrying them around in the bottom of your bag, only to find them weeks later, after wondering what that grey powder all over all your stuff is. second there's the its-a-damp-bit-of-paper-and-its-going-to-rip-if-anything-sharper-than-a-cottonbud-gets-within-5feet-of-it syndrome suffered by all fieldworkers that means that all the pencils have to be blunt anyway, thus ruling out the ingenious mechanical-never-needs-sharpening variety of pencil. these things can all be overcome, and waterproof paper and pens are available for the very dedicated. but its actually something invented for fieldworkers that is the main problem with wet fieldwork. its called a weatherwriter, and in theory its the best thing since sliced bread as far as anyone working outside with pens and pencils and in the rain is concerned. in essence its a waterproof clipboard. there's a kind of plastic tent attached to it that you can write under and which, supposedly, keeps the rain off your work. and in light showers its really effective. but give it a bit more rain and what happens is this -

step one - the heavens open and you immediately stow anything that will be affected into the waterproof compartment of your weatherwriter
step two - you hastily put all waterproof gear on in order to at least pretend that you are not, as it appears, getting totally soaked
step three - you open the weatherwriter to finish writing notes........
only to have all the water run down your waterproofs and into the weatherwriter. SIGH.

i'm not blaming the people at weatherwriter, mine is brilliant and super handy, but its just not designed for heavy rain. and unfortunately you can't just abandon a survey if it starts to rain a bit. what i need is for some clever boffin to design a sealable unit with the handy gloves attached thing they use in infectious disease units so no water at all can get in. but i fear it will be too cumbersome. until then i, and all the others like me will have to offer up swift prayers to whatever being controls the rain, and hope it holds off until the notes are finished. given past form i'm relatively convinced that this is a waste of energy, but i live in ever optimistic hope that one day our prayers will be heard.........

by this time, having dealt with assorted livestock-bug-insect-gate-mud-rain-plant-fence-wire related problems, you are undoubtedly (unless you are either a veteran or extremely hardy) huddled in a corner, rocking back and forth, and re-thinking the life you have chosen to pursue, by carefully weighing both the obstacles and the benefits of not being in an office.

if you are not strong, grasshopper, you will return to the stuffy centrally heated air conditioned germ infested hell hole that is your office, sighing over the glimpse of freedom that you so shamefully ran from.

if you are strong, grasshopper, you will rise like the proverbial phoenix from the metaphorical ashes of your first day and say: 'i will not be beaten by the bugs and barbed wire. i will not run from the cows or the sheep. i will not be conquered by insane knots on gate. i am a fieldworker and i will survey this field if it is the last thing i do on this earth. but first a restoring half at the pub...'



NB. please note that i believe working in an office requires a great deal more strength of mind than strolling around the countryside counting flowers and birds ever will. those of you who unfailingly get the tube or bus or sit in traffic for hours on end in order to reach one of the offices that make our country tick, i salute you!

[eeyore]

RoFL

Mind you spare a though for those of us doing practical work in the same conditions

if you are using a chainsaw (as I was on saturday clearing fallen trees) then you have to wear protective leggings

if you are wearing protective leggings then you cant wear waterproof trousers over them

this means that your legings will soak up water , a lot of water

which means they will get very heavy

at this point your saw will conk out due to water getting into the engine

this means you have to walk miles to get the spare out of the van then walk miles back all the while wearing your heavy waterlogged leggings

then once you have finally finished you can repair to the pub for a resorative sherbert or two, at which point you will meet a gorgeous woman

she will look at you like you are something the cat has dragged in , and you will retreat to the toilets in shame

at this point you will look in a mirror and realise that you are covered from head to toe in woodchip, mud , congealed oil , and that you stink to high heaven of 2 stroke fumes.

and you will say to yourself - I am a conservation worker, arent I the lucky one

(well actually yes - because like almost normal I could no more work in an office day in day out than fly to the moon)

[almostnormal]

i submit....practical work most certainly is worse than survey work......

having to crouch in an over grazed field, where there are sheep ticks everwhere, trying to identify a plant that should be 20cm long, but is in fact 2cm long, with flowers that are a fraction of the size is definitely as dishaertening...and leads to....

the inevitably muddy smudge where i've rubbed my nose whilst looking through a hand lense trying to work out whether there are hairs on the stem or not. sigh. you never notice til someone looks at you funny

[Mr Mag00]

hahahaha, very funny. Been there on both of your experiences, but they make us better people, it sorts the wheat from the chaff and those left doing the job are the hardy ones and worth their weight in gold, well that's how i see myself

I wee window on outdoor education...try dragging 60 reception and year 1 school children around a reserve planning on invertebrate hunting and a river dipping session in the hissing rain, the teachers and adult assistants are no help with control looking for a day off and squealing at spiders! At the same time the Centres Saddle Back sow is in heat and has removed all the gates and is heading up the country lane looking for some satisfaction

How ever you look at our jobs its so much better than working in retail, done that, an office, or indoors all year round. I meet hundreds of people every week and really i do enjoy it, truthfully, but this wet weather it getting me down a little but we have soldiered on!!!

[svenrufus]

I hear you, I have been there too . Fortunately had quite a bit of indoor work in the wettest June on record, but I know exactly where you are coming from. The Weatherwriter is a great idea, but the trailing wet sleeve is what really gets the paper to saturation point at double quick time. One tip which I hope will lighten your burden - never mind the worthy 'recycled-cup' pencil, go for a nice new clickable one with that needle sharp bit of lead that extends out on demand. Transformed my life discovering those, fantastic.

Other than that, all I can say is after a day like you describe, you get home, you get clean, you sit down with a glass of scotch/wine/beer* and even if you are drinking the cheapest KwikSave blended whisky, it tastes like nectar, as the creeping return of feeling like a human being, rather than the creature from the Black Lagoon, envelops you and presses you into your seat like a warm fluffy cloud. Life gets no sweeter than that.

*(delete as applicable)

[almostnormal]

Originally Posted by svenrufus

I hear you, I have been there too . Fortunately had quite a bit of indoor work in the wettest June on record, but I know exactly where you are coming from. The Weatherwriter is a great idea, but the trailing wet sleeve is what really gets the paper to saturation point at double quick time. One tip which I hope will lighten your burden - never mind the worthy 'recycled-cup' pencil, go for a nice new clickable one with that needle sharp bit of lead that extends out on demand. Transformed my life discovering those, fantastic.

Other than that, all I can say is after a day like you describe, you get home, you get clean, you sit down with a glass of scotch/wine/beer* and even if you are drinking the cheapest KwikSave blended whisky, it tastes like nectar, as the creeping return of feeling like a human being, rather than the creature from the Black Lagoon, envelops you and presses you into your seat like a warm fluffy cloud. Life gets no sweeter than that.

*(delete as applicable)

its even better if someone else is bringing you the drink.....add a bowl of hot water to restore the feeling to my feet and that is how i wind down after scaling fells to id bog plants and getting rained on. try as might i didn't find enough paperwork to fill all the days in the wettest june on record, and have consequently developed a suspiciously tickly throat.hmmm.

[Gill Catton]

but its days like those that pay in karmic terms for the days when you are out on a sunny morning, the breeze blowing warmly over your skin you ears full of bird-song and you are counting butterflies.

The cuts and bloody wounds across your legs caused by dragging a length of bramble over your shin as you walk are what pay for the gentle gorgeous scent of unexpected wild honeysuckle growing through a hedge.

The falling over a gate or unavoidable fence climbing with associated trembling in fear of inner-thigh laceration caused by barbed wire is what pays for the days when you walk silently out of a wood along a nice open track to come face to face with a beautiful Roe deer or a bunch of hares playing what looks like tag and it seems to take them ages to notice you...

The fifty mile an hour horizontal rain- empowered wind blowing straight into your face, as you try to count birds nearly a kilometer away through a telescope, is what pays for the glorious bright crisp winter days you spend sitting on a sea wall with a big flask and a packed lunch including a very naughty number of jaffa cakes, watching waders... all day..... and getting paid for it.....

The miles walked through agricultural grassland seeing nothing in the rain, pays for the driving around a forest track and discovering a towering flock of displaying Raven....

You can't have the really good without the really bad and I'll take both of the over 'just average' or 'bland' or even worse 'boring' any day

I'm even growing to quite like the vague delerium resulting from a light dose of sunstroke!!

[Wild-Woman]

Well I've got 2 jobs and I know which one I'd go for any day. Outside, all weathers, mud, baking sun, cow-pats, mozzies, cornered by a snorting bull.............and watching the dragonflies, sitting by the butterflies, ditch dipping with enthusiastic kiddies, sweeping for insects, spying the raptors, breathing fresh air. Classroom-no match.

[almostnormal]

i agree...its much better outside than in....but today i got eaten alive by clegs and midges and stung by nettles. i am not a happy fieldworker today. at least i'm using up all my bad luck in one go!!

[eeyore]

Originally Posted by almostnormal

i agree...its much better outside than in....but today i got eaten alive by clegs and midges and stung by nettles. i am not a happy fieldworker today. at least i'm using up all my bad luck in one go!!

and i cut my hands and legs to bits smashing a flail mower through a load of blackthorn suckers - pulled out 32 splinters so i aint a happy conservation worker either

[almostnormal]

Originally Posted by eeyore

and i cut my hands and legs to bits smashing a flail mower through a load of blackthorn suckers - pulled out 32 splinters so i aint a happy conservation worker either

ouch. very ouch. you win. at least i never got any splinters....

[eeyore]

Originally Posted by almostnormal

ouch. very ouch. you win. at least i never got any splinters....

tho at least splinters dont give you lymes disease....

[almostnormal]

Originally Posted by eeyore

tho at least splinters dont give you lymes disease....

ha...since the symptoms include odd behaviour, no one would notice if i did have it until it made me collapse! that takes about 3 months to kick in i believe

[Ukwildlifeo]

lol you reminded me of a geology field trip to Swanagewhere the wind and rain got progressively worse as the tutor protested more and more it would 'pass over.' After an hour or so he relented and we headed back obly for my friend to slip on a baoudler and hurt her ankle so we had to carry her off the beach in terrible weather conditions. Still we had a good laugh in the local chippy after!

[SparklySarah]

I was doing a report for AS archaeology earlier on this year. Went to Tretower Castle. Beautiful place, but chucked it down with rain the whole day! It's not easy doing an archaeological fieldwalk in the rain. Doing it again in A2 so hopefully the weather will be better when I go next!

[almostnormal]

oh dear....what have i started? still today was no better. funnier, but no better....i'm beginning to doubt your theory about karma Gill. i was out walking through some woods today doing woodland surveying (at the site that prompted the original post) with two other people. i'm not as tall as them and i'm much more easily distracted by things that we're not supposed to surveying, you know, bugs, fungi etc. they dragged me round at top speed (and since i'm shorter i was sort of semi trotting as opposed to walking, a bit like a small kid trying to keep up with a bigger sibling) and as we were going along this ridge i was distracted by a very nice bracket fungi and went to take a photo. in order to then catch them up (despite me telling them i was going they carried on) i was going along quite quickly when my foot went down a hole and i ended up on my backside, foot in hole, next to an angry ants nest. my ankle was stuck under a tree root, there was a bracken branch up my nose and to add insult to injury it was at this point that a ruddy great cleg decided to make its presence known by ripping into my skin like a pneumatic drill. the stream of expletives at this point reduced my already sniggering co-workers (they apparently managed to spot disappearing me) to tears of laughter and left them gasping for oxygen whilst i pulled myself out of the hole, trying not to put my hand in the ant nest. sigh. still it least it meant i could keep up better, they were so busy having on and off laughter fits that they had to keep stopping to breathe!

[Gill Catton]

Originally Posted by almostnormal

oh dear....what have i started? still today was no better. funnier, but no better....i'm beginning to doubt your theory about karma Gill. i was out walking through some woods today doing woodland surveying (at the site that prompted the original post) with two other people. i'm not as tall as them and i'm much more easily distracted by things that we're not supposed to surveying, you know, bugs, fungi etc. they dragged me round at top speed (and since i'm shorter i was sort of semi trotting as opposed to walking, a bit like a small kid trying to keep up with a bigger sibling) and as we were going along this ridge i was distracted by a very nice bracket fungi and went to take a photo. in order to then catch them up (despite me telling them i was going they carried on) i was going along quite quickly when my foot went down a hole and i ended up on my backside, foot in hole, next to an angry ants nest. my ankle was stuck under a tree root, there was a bracken branch up my nose and to add insult to injury it was at this point that a ruddy great cleg decided to make its presence known by ripping into my skin like a pneumatic drill. the stream of expletives at this point reduced my already sniggering co-workers (they apparently managed to spot disappearing me) to tears of laughter and left them gasping for oxygen whilst i pulled myself out of the hole, trying not to put my hand in the ant nest. sigh. still it least it meant i could keep up better, they were so busy having on and off laughter fits that they had to keep stopping to breathe!

awwww rubbish....... falling over definately an occupational hazard!! btw though you sound much the better surveyor, they'll miss far more than you do. Ecological survey cannot be conducted effectively at speed, you miss all sorts of stuff if only the opportunity to learn

[almostnormal]

Originally Posted by Gill Catton

awwww rubbish....... falling over definately an occupational hazard!! btw though you sound much the better surveyor, they'll miss far more than you do. Ecological survey cannot be conducted effectively at speed, you miss all sorts of stuff if only the opportunity to learn

thanks! i agree about ecological survey, but apparently trees can be surveyed at high speed i think it was sort of an 'extreme tree survey techniques for the 6ft and over'! i think i fall over more than most, i seem to be a bit, umm, accident prone? still at least it gives everyone something to laugh about. the best one ever was when my colleague got their back pack caught on a really springy branch and it swang back at high speed. managed to dodge it by stepping back into a ditch. i new it was there, but still i stepped. right up to my knees. lovely - eau de rancid ditch!

[Gill Catton]

Originally Posted by almostnormal

thanks! i agree about ecological survey, but apparently trees can be surveyed at high speed i think it was sort of an 'extreme tree survey techniques for the 6ft and over'! i think i fall over more than most, i seem to be a bit, umm, accident prone? still at least it gives everyone something to laugh about. the best one ever was when my colleague got their back pack caught on a really springy branch and it swang back at high speed. managed to dodge it by stepping back into a ditch. i new it was there, but still i stepped. right up to my knees. lovely - eau de rancid ditch!

so they will miss the flies buzzing around a hole that might suggest a birds nest or better yet a bat roost. They'll miss the Badger sett in the roots on the other side of the tree or the feathers caught in the nettles underneath that suggest a barn owl may roost or even nest in the tree.... Slow and steady ALWAYS more valuable in my opinion

I used to fall over two or three times a year - nearly always ditches hidden by tall vegetation seems to be getting better though!! perhaps I have become more wary!! I was fully expecting it recently though when my fella came on a newt survey with me and there was both of us out in the pouring rain, him safely on the bank and me in one of those ponds where the water is an inch lower than your waders and I would have almost put money on falling over in that pond - that's how Murphy's law works right? esp in front of a loved one - who has a mobile phone camera in his pocket and years in the future to tell stories in pubs......