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05-07-2007, 11:51 AM
|  | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Chilterns
Posts: 8,091
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by almostnormal 
3. becuase its easier than explaining the truth ie. i'm bored of you, its disgusting to wear underwear twice, its not ok to hang the towel back up when you used it to blow your nose etc
why does cold air make you drunker than warm air?
| you obviously hang out with a great class of guy - i'd never blow my nose on a towel .... especially when there are all those odd socks handy 
and I've never got drunk on any kind of air - it always takes alcohol to do it for me 
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05-07-2007, 12:01 PM
|  | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Broad Hinton (thats near swindon)
Posts: 860
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
fantastic aren't they? clearly i'm no longer associated with him anymore.
yes - again the alcohol starts the process but then you step outside the pub and instantly feel much drunker than before!
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05-07-2007, 12:49 PM
|  | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Blackpool, Lancashire
Posts: 737
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Why when I clicked on this thread did it come up with a link to 'Desperate British Housewives' in the Google Ads Bar at the top of the page!!  |
05-07-2007, 04:01 PM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Kent
Posts: 1,614
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Just found this thread. it has put a nice smile on my face 
1) Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
2) Why do irons have a setting for permanent press?
3) Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
4) Why cant men do more then one thing at the same time ?
5) Why cant men pee straight and get it in the toilet instead of all over it
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05-07-2007, 07:04 PM
|  | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Benbecula
Posts: 332
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kymba Just found this thread. it has put a nice smile on my face
4) Why cant men do more then one thing at the same time ?
5) Why cant men pee straight and get it in the toilet instead of all over it | I think 4 and 5 are related, they pee all over the floor as they are too busy reading, footballers weekly.......(what did you think I would say ) and can only do one thing at a time so they miss!!! They also are Myopic as that never notice they missed, still looking at footballers weekly. Perhaps thats why men drink magners with ice (as per earlier post) as they drink the cider, take the glass into the toilet, drop the ice cubes down the loo and then they have something to do and aim for! Simple only then doing 1 thing.....shall I patent that idea!
Debs
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05-07-2007, 07:47 PM
| | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Chilterns
Posts: 8,091
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbozkurt I think 4 and 5 are related, they pee all over the floor as they are too busy reading, footballers weekly.......(what did you think I would say ) and can only do one thing at a time so they miss!!! They also are Myopic as that never notice they missed, still looking at footballers weekly. Perhaps thats why men drink magners with ice (as per earlier post) as they drink the cider, take the glass into the toilet, drop the ice cubes down the loo and then they have something to do and aim for! Simple only then doing 1 thing.....shall I patent that idea!
Debs | Sexism - i think most men dont read magazines whilst peeing standing up - for one thing one hand is otherwise engaged (unless they are letting it go unguided and thats why it goes on the floor ) I generally only read in the loo while having a morning sit down.
the real reason why some men pee all over the seat , floor etc is because they are trying to provoke the girlfreind into a "its not you its me speech" (as per earlier post) which is far easier than just dumping her - and allows them to maintain the moral highground - id also be suspicious that this might be the motivation behind the nose blowing on the towel thing because that can't be his normal practice surely 
Mind you you can think yourself lucky - my freind katie just chucked her ex for peeing in the sink .... in the kitchen !
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05-07-2007, 08:24 PM
| | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 268
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Here's one then.
What exactly do women find attractive about men if they pee on the floor and in the kitchen sink, blow their noses on towels and socks and leave the party early with your best mate? |
05-07-2007, 08:29 PM
| | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Chilterns
Posts: 8,091
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann2 Here's one then.
What exactly do women find attractive about men if they pee on the floor and in the kitchen sink, blow their noses on towels and socks and leave the party early with your best mate? | Ah but you see the reason that i get to leave the party early with her mate is because i dont pee on the floor or in the sink, or blow my nose on socks , towels or indeed curtains (as one ex of a freind of mine once did) - I can also cook without leaving the kitchen looking like a nuclear test site (though generally not during a party )
I strongly suspect that men who routinely do all the above have a very poor track record with wimmin and are much more likely to be found passed out in a bus stop clutching a traffic cone
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05-07-2007, 08:36 PM
| | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 268
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Maybe they are the sensible ones - traffic cones don't argue.
You can cook??? |
05-07-2007, 08:56 PM
| | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Benbecula
Posts: 332
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Another profound question, why do men think they can cook!!!!
I am not sure if eeyore really worries me or fasinates me, which leads me into another question why do us women always think we can change men!!!
If they were a drunken, cone wearing man when we met them they will be just that in 10 years time but instead of finding them drunk at bus stops we find them in the bedroom cupboard, naked,drunk and wearing the cone!
Debs
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05-07-2007, 09:03 PM
| | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 268
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Oh to find a naked drunk man in my bedroom cupboard, with or without cone! |
05-07-2007, 09:05 PM
| | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Chilterns
Posts: 8,091
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann2 Maybe they are the sensible ones - traffic cones don't argue.
You can cook??? | yep - and i dont mean microwave meals and beans on toast either - I used to cook as a hobby until I got too busy with work and wab - specialities include lasange , stir fry (tho to be fair nearly everyone can cook that), stuffed peppers, somerset pork, and ohh a whole range of other stuff . I generally follow the jamie oliver school of cookery (tho without the mockney accent geeza ) of chucking in a bit of this and a bit of that and making it up as i go along.
I can bake fairly well too tho lately this has been limited to flapjack.
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05-07-2007, 09:06 PM
|  | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: New Milton, Hampshire
Posts: 3,515
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbozkurt Another profound question, why do men think they can cook!!!! | Hey....my toast comes out just fine thank you.  |
05-07-2007, 09:16 PM
| | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Chilterns
Posts: 8,091
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbozkurt Another profound question, why do men think they can cook!!!! | cos it impresses the ladeez - tho in my case I actually can (see post above) I did nearly a year in a bakery when i first left college Quote: |
Originally Posted by dbozkurt If they were a drunken, cone wearing man when we met them they will be just that in 10 years time but instead of finding them drunk at bus stops we find them in the bedroom cupboard, naked,drunk and wearing the cone! | Does that mean that if i'm suave, debonair, charming and smooth now (tho some uncharitable people might add delusional to that list ) - i will still be suave , debonair etc in 10 year time ..... result Quote: |
Originally Posted by dbozkurt another question why do us women always think we can change men!!! | I cant help you there , as none of my ex girlfreinds have ever wanted me to change - except for the one who wanted me to earn lots of money , drive a sports car and get a propper job ( I work in the countryside , drive a ford ka and a 4x4- tho not at the same time- and earn what you would expect) - she went off with a stockbroker in the end  Quote: |
Originally Posted by dbozkurt I am not sure if eeyore really worries me or fasinates me | a lot of people have that dillema - the answer is normally directly proportional to the ammount of magners I have drunk
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05-07-2007, 09:27 PM
| | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Benbecula
Posts: 332
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
a lot of people have that dillema - the answer is normally directly proportional to the ammount of magners I have drunk [/quote]
Does that mean I have to drink pints too, haven't down that in about 15 years, I am now a sophisticated, lady......god how I miss the fun!!!
PS In the old croft houses in the Outer Hebrides the cupboards are huge....you can fit lots of men with cones in them clothed or unclothed, there cool so they would keep a while to without going off!
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05-07-2007, 09:30 PM
| | Member of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 268
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Blimey Debs, what are you doing to all those men? You're supposed to keep them alive!
Ann |
05-07-2007, 09:36 PM
| | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Chilterns
Posts: 8,091
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbozkurt Quote: |
Originally Posted by eeyore a lot of people have that dillema - the answer is normally directly proportional to the ammount of magners I have drunk | Does that mean I have to drink pints too, haven't down that in about 15 years, I am now a sophisticated, lady......god how I miss the fun!!!
PS In the old croft houses in the Outer Hebrides the cupboards are huge....you can fit lots of men with cones in them clothed or unclothed, there cool so they would keep a while to without going off! | you can drink whatever you like, i'm not fussy ( just so it isnt wine that costs £20 per glass - ref the ex gf mentined above) but yep i do get more facinating the more you have drunk too
the really important question is where in the outer hebrides are you going to find that many traffic cones
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05-07-2007, 10:00 PM
| | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Chilterns
Posts: 8,091
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by GME Why when I clicked on this thread did it come up with a link to 'Desperate British Housewives' in the Google Ads Bar at the top of the page!! | may be they are desperate to find out why men pee all over the seat ? - if you see owt like that make a note of the url and pm it to stu - he can block unsuitable google ads like that one.
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"new improved eeyore , now with added tact..... for that whiter brighter finish" |
05-07-2007, 10:04 PM
| | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Chilterns
Posts: 8,091
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by almostnormal fantastic aren't they? clearly i'm no longer associated with him anymore.
yes - again the alcohol starts the process but then you step outside the pub and instantly feel much drunker than before! | I think its probably because the exercise of getting up and leaving the pub makes your heart beat faster and thus more booze enter your bloodstream - I have noticed a similar effect when throwing shapes on the dance floor (and i have to be very drunk to attempt that) - personally i find the cold air sobers me up - which is a good thing if i'm too bevvied to coherently call a cab)
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"new improved eeyore , now with added tact..... for that whiter brighter finish" |
05-07-2007, 10:19 PM
| | Officer of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Blackpool, Lancashire
Posts: 737
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by eeyore may be they are desperate to find out why men pee all over the seat ? | Lol. Us blokes certainly get some hammer on this thread. Btw if "it's not that difficult to put the seat down after a bloke has used it", why is it so hard and such an issue to put it down when you women come to use it next!? Quote: |
if you see owt like that make a note of the url and pm it to stu - he can block unsuitable google ads like that one.
| Done. Cheers Eeyore. |
05-07-2007, 10:26 PM
| | Knight Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Chilterns
Posts: 8,091
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Quote:
Originally Posted by GME Lol. Us blokes certainly get some hammer on this thread. Btw if "it's not that difficult to put the seat down after a bloke has used it", why is it so hard and such an issue to put it down when you women come to use it next!?
. | at the end of the day we need to remember that men are from mars and women are from cadbury's
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05-07-2007, 10:32 PM
| | Commander of the Wild Empire | | Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Kent
Posts: 1,614
| | | Re: Profound questions for a Sunday Afternoon
Ok next
1) If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? YES
2) If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
3) Why don't sheep shrink in the rain? (real wool Jumpers do when you wash them)
4) If a man washes a dish, and no woman is around to see it, did it happen?
5) Why when we get to a certain age do we suddenly become our parents?
6)What is the speed of darkness?
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Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you. | |
