Wild About Britain - Conversation Between Tracey.A and PMG

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Conversation Between Tracey.A and PMG

Conversation Between Tracey.A and PMG

Showing Visitor Messages 1 to 10 of 22

31-07-2010 09:43 PM - permalink
PMG

Yes I know absolutely exactly what you are dealing with as my situation is identical if that makes you feel any better! I've been more than exasperated - I've lost my temper I've shouted at her I've almost nearly grabbed hold and shook her I'm very ashamed to say .... My mam doesn't even wait till I've gone to forget - she forgets from one min to the next and asks the same questions and goes thro the same pointless and useless routines over and over. This is an evil disease and many of us are going to get to experience it firsthand with close relatives and if really unlucky ourselves in years to come .... its a very scary situation. Yes hubby was working - he can't have as many holidays as me: its not like me to miss him qwuite as badly as I did - I suppose after 18 yrs tog I don't feel right somehow without him and well I had too do all my own washing up, loo emptying, water filling and driving ..... Hahahaha!!!!
31-07-2010 07:26 PM - permalink
Tracey.A

The worrying thing is that no sooner is one problem sorted out, or you think it is, another one rears it's head. My brother lives near mum and he becoming exasperated by mum. Trying to explain things to them is pointless, because they forget as soon as you're gone. I feel like giving up with my mum sometimes, but we can't we don't have a choice. I phoned mum's surgery and told them to let me know when mum had an appointment, but they don't. Mum's dementia is getting worse and now she doesn't like going out. We've got the same problem and there's no use asking for help 'cos mum's mental health team and social services are not helpful at all. Banging head against wall!! I bet the Isles were fantastic, shame the second week wasn't as good as the first. Aw, what a shame your husband wasn't there. Was he working?
29-07-2010 08:02 PM - permalink
PMG

Hi Tracey - how goes it? I've been back less than 24 hrs and already got probs with mam - another big phone bill - we had call barring put in place to the operator 3 months ago as she had run up a £546 bill asking the op what day it was - 5 or 6 times a day. So we breathe a sigh of relief and 3 months on she's made 52 calls to 118 500 - just 9 mins and 19 secs and its cost £84 ........ I could scream and scream - I could also cheerfully strangle her - I keep telling myself its not her fault - but its not mine either .......... ho hum ........ the isles were brill the 1st week then the weather went bad, the camera didn't get used and I got to missing my little hubby ...... aint that life?!
26-07-2010 10:08 PM - permalink
Tracey.A

Hi Pam, just thought I'd stop by to say hi:) How were the Isles!? I've done nowt of interest recently, must get off my backside and get out and about again:) Tracey:)
20-03-2010 11:38 PM - permalink
Tracey.A

Thanks Pauline, good to know I can talk to someone who is dealing with the same problems and you can talk to me re this as well.

Tracey:)
20-03-2010 10:58 PM - permalink
PMG

I know exaxtly what you mean and the see-sawing emotions that go with it and whilst I'm not glad you are feeling like this - I'm glad I'm not alone with these feelings - its a big relief when someone pops up and describes almost exactly the same scenario and admits to the same love/hate struggle taking place in their heads - witter away Tracey if it helps xx
20-03-2010 10:17 PM - permalink
Tracey.A

Hi Pauline, it didn't sound nasty at all. Everything you said is basically how I feel re my mum. I love her to bits, but it is just exhausting. Mum has a diary as well, she also has note pads, bits of paper and a callender and she still gets in a muddle. I don't see her as often as I should, which then makes me feel so guilty. Mum doesn't remember when I do go and see her or when I've phoned her. Mum sent my eldest son off to Kinross to go and get her elctric fire, which she said was in for repair - only it wasn't, it was in one of her cupboards. The list goes on and on. I love my mum, but at times it just gets too much. It's not mum's fault, it's her illness, but it is exhausting. It just makes me feel guilty all the time that I don't do enough or frustrated when I'm dealing with her and then guilty for feeling frustrated. You know what I mean. Soz wittered on a bit!

Tracey:)
20-03-2010 12:19 PM - permalink
PMG

I've just re-read that now I've posted it and it sounds nasty - it wasn't meant to be - what I meant was how much more time should I take from my life and the very real ambitions I still have to make something of myself and waste it by doing something for which she doesn't really realise is being devoted to her .... when an answer surfaces from the deep of my mind I guess I will decide what to do next ........
20-03-2010 12:16 PM - permalink
PMG

As you say and more ...... Since the fracas at the beg of the hol I have not been answering my phone to mam - I check the voicemail in case its an emergency like she's locked herself out of the house - tho there are neighbours she would go to who would alert me to that one. Its pointless answering and wasting time telling her when I'm going to pick her up as a few mins later she will phone and ask again so I write it in here diary (which she doesn;'t read) and leave notices (doesn't read any of those either) and am just trying to get on with my life but it is getting to me - the rate at which things crop up and jostle for attention is really annoying - and I am ignoring what I can't get to do and trying to deal with stuff in a prioritised way but I am pretty fed up its true. I don't know how much more of my life I want to waste looking after her and thats the bottom line .......
19-03-2010 09:32 PM - permalink
Tracey.A

Hi Pauline, yep mothers!!! Dealing with dementia is exhausting! Before my mum had dementia I use to think that social services dealt with the majority of it, but I was completely wrong:( I don't even know when they see mum, 'cos mum can't remember! Dementia is a horrible thing. Mum's short term memory it awful. Mum lives by herself and I constantly worry about her. It's mentally exhausting! This sounds really awful, but when mum phones me, she's on the phone for hours, because she forgets what she's said so repeats everything. The sad thing is that they know what's wrong and I don't know about your mum, but mine is reluctant to see her friends, because she knows that she will be repeating things and doesn't want them to know. They do and they love her anyway.

Tracey:)

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