Habits are hard to break and I'm not sure this is one to break - there is nothing wrong with doing something to the utmost - what you need to do is find a way to do that and satisfy that monkey on your back and the loud voice in the back of your head (that will be the one that sounds remarkably like your mum!!!!!!!!!!!!!) It is ok to come second if you do - if someone is genuinely better than you then so be it - and there is no shame or loss in that - what I can';t find ok is to come second cos I didn't give it my best - the trick is how to get your best enoough to satisfy yourself you were really trying but without killing yourself - now thats the trick thats hard!!!!! And sometimes don't forget - your best and a world beating whatever it is - doesn't have to cost a huge effort - sometimes a little skill and deviousness without being nasty can be the thing that gets you to poll position - sometimes more thought and less action brings a win ............ think about it - sometimes effort leads to xexexexexexe-all - consider that as well!!!!! It all depends what you think winning is ............. ok I'm going its been a hell of a long day and I'm shattered - I didn't work this hard when I was full time!!!! Look after yourself and get a bit crafty!!!!

I guess one of my problems is having it drilled into as a kid that if its worth doing its worth doing to the best of your ability. Its a great mantra but its also a terrible millstone to have hanging round your neck. I have to be good at what ever hobby of sport I try even if it nearly kills me trying.
Sometimes I guess I need a little voice saying its OK to come second and stop driving mysely but its been ingrained for the last 50 years and as the song says "Its a hard habit to break".
Stay well and get fit.
Cheers
SteveHL

Meditation is an excellent tool - as you say it slows you down and evens you out. Thats how I am - I go at things and get worn out and then can't do much - but when I can I just go over the top - I just don't do moderation - can't understand it at all - its a concept I totally miss out on! Ask any of my friends and they would tell you I'm all or nothing - there;s nowt inbetween. The arm is as sore as ever - but just poss my ribs are not as bad for the first time since i did it last Tues teatime - it would be nice if I could lie down in bed and get a proper sleep.............

Hi Pauline
Thanks for the encouraging words and thoughts.
I think its finding something that works for you and learning to use it to your advantage, whatever it is and even if others think in shouldn't work, if it does for you go for it. My find was meditation, which just slows me down and stops me going at everything like a bull at a gate until I crash and them its chair bound for a few days. It was also a long process to learn when to stop before I ran out of energy, take a rest and go again. Its slow and frustrating but its all I've got so I have to make the best of it.
Look after that arm and work that lens to a frassel.
Cheers
SteveHL

Ahh Steve I'm sorry to hear that - but if you're managing to find a way thro it, round it or over it then more power to you........ I've wondered more than once recently whether I was heading into ME or something similar cos I've been so demotivated - not even wanting to do the things that I enjoy, but then I get a little voice in the back of my mind which keeps shispering 'your life is pasing by, you must do something with it, leave something behind, make something of yourself'!etc and so I push on but not always with enjoyment.......... and of course there's the other little voice - 'you've spent all that money on that lens - you had better get out and use it' Hahahahaha!!!!! I've been using EFT recently (emotional freedom therapy) look it up on the web - your first thoughts will probably be yet more hype and nonsense from America! But I've had good results from it and its such a simple little excercise and I no longer care how it works - it can be mumbo-jumbo or self hypnotism - so long as it works I will do it!!!!!!!! Take care - hope to see you again sometime - in the meantime hope to see some fabulous results from your camera! Pauline

Hi Pauline
Like you I've been strugling with illness. Just after I last saw you on the Farnes I was diagnosed with M.E and have spent three years trying to get back to a level where I can function , get to work and enjoy the things I used to before getting It.
I've managed to get fit enough to do a full weeks work and am now working my way back to getting out with the camera for a few hours each weekend. Hope you're starting to find your way down the recovery road and look after that arm.
keep up the good work with that camera and lens and say Hi and pass my regards to hubby for me please.
All the best
SteveHL

Hi Steve - long time no hear from - you are another person I thought was on my friendship list - so have remedied that now! Thanks for comments on pics - I don't know about any bars - but I will be looking forward to seeing more of your stuff - I seem to be struggling (bent but not beaten tho!) with ill health injuries and lousy weather - as usual I am keeping going regardless (rewardless and with sheer b****y minded determination!!!!)

Regards
Pauline