by Michele Calabretta Nicarry (animal rehabber)
As wildlife rehabilitators our primary goal is to help injured and orphaned animals heal and/or grow and then return them back to their natural habitat as the wild creatures they were meant to be. But sometimes there are rare exceptions. The following story is about a very special squirrel.
She came to me after being held by her finders for over 4 days with improper diet or warmth. She and her brother came in cold, dehydrated and severely emaciated. Her brother died within hours; by some small miracle and her own sheer strength she lived. Her eyes were still closed and she was probably about 1 1/2 to 2 weeks old. It took almost a week to get her on a good eating schedule and every day was a struggle to keep her properly hydrated and nourished. She had also developed a wheeze in her nasal cavity that I thought sure was the beginning of pneumonia. It was not, however, and stayed in her nose...
Other squirrels her age were here too. After that initial week I decided to put them together in the same incubator as most wild creatures fare better with "their own kind". The other squirrels were getting bigger, their eyes were opening and their appetites were growing right along with them. Not the nasally squirrel. She ate the same amount every day, appropriate for her weight, but wouldn't grow. She was now visibly smaller than her adopted siblings and her eyes opened almost a week later than they should have...there was obviously something wrong with this little squirrel.
Another week went by and the other squirrels faces were changing shape, as they do when squirrels grow. They played with one another and "argued" over food rights. Not the nasally squirrel. She slept most of the day, unless I woke her up to feed her. She was also NOT thermoregulating properly - that is, she was unable to keep her body temperature up where it should be. I finally had to separate her from her group as the others would simply push her to a corner, where I'd find her chilled.
She was put back in the incubator and seemed to prefer the peace and quiet...so she could sleep more often without being disturbed. The other squirrels were getting longer faces but she kept sort of a pugged nose profile. I started to wonder if maybe that was the cause of her breathing/wheezing? Some cat and dog breeds that have pug noses will have nasal cavity problems because their noses are too short; this might be the case with "my" squirrel.
After consulting with a list of other wildlife rehabilitators, many thought that this squirrel might just be "special" - she could have Down Syndrome. (I had looked at her one time and thought she reminded me of a Down Syndrome child!) The more I described her symptoms, the more nods/agreement I was getting to the Down Syndrome theory. This special squirrel could never be released, and knowing this I was faced with a tough decision. My license was issued with the understanding that all wildlife was taken in based on the fact that I would do what I could to get it back out into the wild; I would not be able to do that for this particular squirrel. So, I talked some more with folks that had worked with these squirrels before and learned, as I suspected, that they usually did not live long. In the wild they would have perished very early on as it's natural mother would not have the time to give it extra care at the cost of her other, healthy offspring. She might have been tossed from her nest or abandoned once she showed signs of ill health. I had already been caring for her for 8 weeks and since she required more hands on care, we became, literally, very close. I constructed a sort of "pouch" for her to sleep in snuggled up against my chest. This way she stayed warm and was on hand for her feedings without being so isolated. Remember, this was a very special squirrel and so her close physical proximity to me was not an issue - she was never going to be released asss a wild squirrel. Besides, I like to think another heartbeat was somewhat comforting to her while she slept...
One afternoon I went to give her a third feeding and place her in my pouch when I noticed she was a bit chilled. That wasn't completely unusual, however, what I noticed next was; she had developed cataracts in about 3 hours time - both eyes were completely white where her pupils should be!!! She was very dehydrated and weak and so I warmed her up, rehydrated her and by evening the cataracts had disappeared...but something else was still different. Remember that nasally wheeze I told you about? It was gone, too!!! I had to keep my self from getting "hopeful" for anything too crazy but couldn't help feel that this was good news; the cataracts were gone and her wheezing had finally stopped.
She ate well for the next week and even started nibbling solid foods and was more active during the day. In fact, she needed to be put into a carrier rather than her former pouch.
One morning I went in to get her for her first feeding (I always started with her first as she was now the smallest squirrel I had and therefor required more daily feedings). She was cold again but opened her eyes and crawled into my hand. After being warmed up she would not take any food. She just wanted to sleep. I put her in her pouch again and carried her with me in case she woke up (she would often wake up making "sucking noises" to let me know she was hungry!) I never heard those sucking noises again. She died in her sleep before I was done feeding her former littermates. I did hear one tiny little sneeze as she slept...and then that was all.
Animals will die. That is a fact of life. Working as any kind of animal caretaker, you are subjected to witness that fact more than most. Sometimes you can just accept that there is nothing you can do...not all animals are going to make it. This squirrel was here for 10 short weeks and although I knew she would not live long, her passing was hard felt. I cried the entire day and a good part of the next. I buried her in a large flower pot because she was so tiny...so very tiny. I definitely broke a rule with her, and that was I got "personally attached". I don't feel bad about letting her "go" on her own terms, in fact, for that I am glad. She was a constant reminder to really care, outside of the necessary cleaning, feeding, weighing, medicating, etc. that routinely goes on in a wildlife rehabilitator's schedule. She was a special "allowance" that I think we often deny ourselves (rehabbers) for the wildlife that comes into our care. Handling and personal attention are "no-no's" for wildlife. But for this special little squirrel, it was okay, for both of us.
I still miss her and am crying right now just trying to write this story. This is a crazy thing we do and it's so easy to get "lost" in caring for so many animals. We lose some of our sensitivity and become feeding/cleaning machines. She brought a little change of pace and love back into what I do. I will always be thankful for her contribution and reminders to enjoy the moments we have with these wild creatures...we really don't get to do much for them for long, and then one way or another, they are gone.
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