Wolf Reintroduction yes or no

[tcvarlh]

Och, they're easily tamed, Good Lord, I caught two last year with my bare hands and a wee bit o' neeps. Show 'em a tattie and a dram and they are as good a gold. There's too much hype about them being so lethal wi' a dirk. True, late at night they can become a touch fractious but that's the drink in them and once they spend the night in 12'x12' room they are as meek as lambs. Then off for a long hot bath. I've found that something like a Talisker or Laphroiag calms them nicely. Doesn't do you any harm either!
h

[STYRBJORN]

Hah! Bribery and corruption in the heath'ry hills. The warcry of rhe wild haggis is "Awa' wi' yer nuts ye wee Glasgie clipe" and they mean it. The two you caught were likely recent escapees, unused to porridging, sorry foraging, in the wild. The wild ones scorn any drink other than usquebaugh that the Sassenach Revenue man has never laid eyes on.

[John_M]

When I was a wee lad I used to wander all over the Ochil hills wi' ma wee dug, and on the rare occasions I was confronted with a haggis, a simple cry of "awa' wi' ye, ye wee scunner!" was usually enough to make them think twice about attacking. Even in a pack, they aren't too much of a problem; a well aimed neep or tattie at the alpha male soon sends them packing.

[STYRBJORN]

BUT! If the alpha male has offspring in the group he can get very protective towards his genetic inheritance. Speak as you find; having been chased for 12 miles along the Gareloch from Helensburgh to Kilcreggan by a really annoyed BIG BULL HAGGIS I have great respect for their fighting abilities.

[tcvarlh]

Ah Well now, the big laddie is easily sorted, down South and a bit East they have the ideal thing for the Tamin' o' the Laird, so to speak. It's a touch heavy but ver' efficient and just one go on the thing will sort out all the wee wild critturs wi' no problem. A Llama mounted, remotely operated No. 4 Punt gun. Vulgarly known as a Pâté Maker. The report of it's action has been know to send many a flying thing to far off places. Of course, the use of such a Beast does make it hard to find said Laird afterwards (or the ruddy Llama), but a few toasted bits are always to be found bestrewn across the heather and bracken. DNA testing will verify the parentage of the rest of the horde, who will come to your hand softly, softly alike unto a pudding.

And from me, enough, about as far off topic as I've ever been. Going for a nice soothing, relaxing cup of Lime Blossom Tea now and a bit of a sit down.

h

[Cowgirl]

You are all mad!

(but very entertaining!)

[STYRBJORN]

Originally Posted by tcvarlh

h

I did say the haggises would drive out the wolves . . .