Hello again

[Dutchess]

Hi all,

Forgive me, but I have not been on WAB a while. I don't know how to say this except tell it how it is.

Personal circumstances have gotten pretty dire. My other half and I have finally split. The split was sudden and has left has left me utterly devastated. I've slept or eaten very little these past couple of weeks and so I'm not the best of company right now...but I do need something to keep me occupied as the days and nights seem very long. He was a massive (albeit volatile and demanding) personality and has left a huge void in my life.

I hope some old friends and the chat on WAB will help keep me going in the lead up to Yule and all the "celebrations".

Thanks all.

D. x

[welsh.lensman]

I'm really sorry to hear of your unfortunate circumstances at the moment Dutchess, and my heart goes out to you, there's never a good time for this to happen, but around Christmas I believe is the worse, especially if there are children involved,
I'm sure there are lots of your friends on here that will help you through this difficult time, and knowing the folks on here you won't be short of constructive advice by people that have gone through the same experiances that you are now facing.
I really hope everything works out for you.

Cincere regards

Wayne.

[Hedge Witch]

Oh dear - been there, done that, bought the t-shirt!

You need friends around you, my girl.

Just drop me a line if you want to chat - about anything at all. I'm around most days except when I sleep etc. From 6.30 am until late evening.

Glad you are back where people can keep an eye on you.

x

[PMG]

Originally Posted by Dutchess

Hi all,

Forgive me, but I have not been on WAB a while. I don't know how to say this except tell it how it is.

Personal circumstances have gotten pretty dire. My other half and I have finally split. The split was sudden and has left has left me utterly devastated. I've slept or eaten very little these past couple of weeks and so I'm not the best of company right now...but I do need something to keep me occupied as the days and nights seem very long. He was a massive (albeit volatile and demanding) personality and has left a huge void in my life.

I hope some old friends and the chat on WAB will help keep me going in the lead up to Yule and all the "celebrations".

Thanks all.

D. x

You had been missed and we were setting up a search party here for you. Your disappearance so soon after losing Mrs Fish was making us feel very nervous..........

I'm right sorry to hear the reason for absence - like HW - been there done that - hope I never have to do it again. Eventually after the shock and the upset and the regret and the wanting everything back how it was - eventually you will get mad and start humming Gloria Gaynor that's when you know you;re going to get over it, and come out of the corner with the gloves off head held high Until then lay low, lick your wounds and grieve and pass time on here with your wabby friends

Pauline xx

[juliejam]

So sorry to hear the reason for your absence..Ive been there some time ago now ..with four young children under 9yrs..its a tough time but im sure you'll pull through it..it will make you a stronger person in the long run..even though thoughts of this at the moment will be far from your mind..

Well if you ever need a chat im always around..

chin up Girl..my thoughts and best wishes are with you..


Julie

[demicav]

Sorry to hear things have been bad for you. We're all here for you if you need a chat. It's good to have you back.

[Lancashire Lad]

Hello Dutchess, and the warmest of welcomes back to WAB.

Along with everyone, I am very sorry to hear of your situation, but rest assured, you will get through this - so stay determined, and focus on the future and the positive things to come.

You have many friends on WAB, and we're always here for you. Well - at least when our computers are switched on (I told you in one of my first posts on WAB that I had a bad sense of humour ).

As they say around these parts -"Keep your chin up".

Look forward to seeing you posting again.

Best regards
Mike.

PS: When are you going to put your rabbit avatar back up?
We can't have the Dutchess as some anonymous question mark now can we, it just ain't right.

[Billy Wobble Dagger]

Oh Dutchess, I'm so sorry to hear your terrible news. You will have realised by now how much you have been missed on WAB. I do hope that you get yourself back on track soon.
Maybe I will have to send you some Elderflower wine after all.

Take care, and remember the family WAB is always here to help and listen.

James

[Dutchess]

Hello all of you good people. My word, you are such sweethearts, I didn't expect such understanding and certainly didn't realise I would have been missed!

Thank you all for being there for me, I may well call on some of those offers in my darkest hours (and I have plenty of those )

D. x

[Mungo]

May I just add my support to this thread Dutchess, although I am new and don't know you my heart goes out to you.

Take good care of YOU!

*Hugs*

[squishy]

i am very sorry to hear that dutchess

[Jason Green]

Hi Dutchess

You certainly have been!!! Me and Tufftie have been worried obviously amongst others.

Remember you have a lot of support from me and others on WAB, don't forget to feel free and send me or others a PM if you need

Keep eating BTW... sorry

Take care,

Jason

[tufftie]

Just found this thread So glad to hear you're well. It's always hard to go through this but when I did I found certain WAB members very supportive as I'm sure you will. You have my email address always feel free to email or pm me.

Naomi x

[KeenTeen17]

welcome back duchess. should have a chat sometime. My dad's 2nd wife slept with someone else for 8 months and they are now getting divorced. he was supposed to properly settled and separated but it is still going on till April. its been almost a year. the only winners are the solicitors

[gess]

Originally Posted by Dutchess

Hello all of you good people. My word, you are such sweethearts, I didn't expect such understanding and certainly didn't realise I would have been missed!

Thank you all for being there for me, I may well call on some of those offers in my darkest hours (and I have plenty of those )

D. x

Hi Dutchess

sorry to hear you've been going through the mill.....

Sounds as if there are loads been through the same (me included, a long time ago it seems now) but as everyone says, its good to have you back and its good to be around people who understand......
Its all been said but is true, you will be stronger for it!... eventually...don't try to rush... but try to do plenty of the things you enjoy... when you are ready.

Oh and yes I sang gloria Gaynor too!!!!!!!!! ... classic

take care

Gess

[PMG]

Just before I go off to bed and take my sore throat and raggardy cough with me..........

Today - this evening in fact - is the 17th anniversary of mine and hubbys very first date ........ and the week which followed was pink cloud divine - seriously ..........

Prior to this night I had been living alone for 11 years since my first marriage ended in divorce - and the alone was thro thick and thin - and it was wearing thin and I was lonely and fed up of the 'the buck stopping here'... but you don't meet someone who could be your life partner every 5 mins - well I certainly didn't

And then I tripped over Ian (and being wily and 11 years his senior I decided to run off and seduce this toyboy before he had time to realise what was happening......... evil? wicked? fun!!!) Well it wasn't quite like that but near enough - I knew with a sureness I'd never possesed before that this was 100% right in every way and I did something very uncharacteristic for me - I jumped in with both feet and caused heart attacks and panic among my friends who thought I;'d taken leave of senses - and boy had I? By the end of this first blissfull week Ian never really went home again............

What I'm saying Dutchess is bad times do go away and you can find love again and such love as you never dared hope for - so hang in cos this is not the end - this is a severe left turn towards something better - let me know when it happens

Pauline

[Dutchess]

Thanks again all who have rallied round. Yesterday I went to bed with a sounder mind and I feel it was due to the support you lot have shown on this thread. A little bit of tenderness and understanding will go a long way at the moment, feeling as isolated as I do.

Being of a certain age (stupid expression) one expects to have been through the mill a few times where loving and losing is concerned, but this hit me like a bolt from the blue. My heart was broken overnight. It was the unexpectedness, the timing (really crass, if only you knew) and the fact that he picked up with a new girl immediately. He is living in the house opposite mine and takes her back there so I feel a prisoner in my own home! I dread going to the window or going out - I have caught sight of them together already. He left me with very little to salvage from the relationship, snatching it back and trashing the good times, being a totally selfish person by nature this is his way of dealing with it. "Build a bridge and get over it" .... that was his advice to me. Never one for heavy heart-to-hearts, but that remark surpassed even his own callousness.

Ok...I know what you're thinking and you are right...he was a bad 'un, but you can't help who you fall in love with and this is killing me just as much had he been god's gift.

I really do have to find something to motivate me, it's very hard to get going and obviously anything connected with what we used to do together is out, which sort of limits my options as he was always "there", whatever I did. So much so that it was stifling at times....and now he's gone I'm left with a void to fill, whichever way I turn. Suggestions, on a postcard please...

[Hedge Witch]

I'm so shocked that he lives opposite. This is callous. This is unbelievable.

Is moving house an option?

If someone did that to me I'd probably throw a brick through the window or something.

IT'S SO INSENSITIVE.

ARGGGHHHH.

You know, it probably won't last with the new woman. If he is this selfish now, he's probably not going to get better. I wonder what she thinks of his selfish attitude?

Do you know this woman? Does she know you?

I don't know what other WABers think, but I think your ex is a bit of a oeoeoeoeoe!

[Hedge Witch]

Originally Posted by Dutchess

I really do have to find something to motivate me, it's very hard to get going and obviously anything connected with what we used to do together is out, which sort of limits my options as he was always "there", whatever I did. So much so that it was stifling at times....and now he's gone I'm left with a void to fill, whichever way I turn. Suggestions, on a postcard please...

I was so shocked with the first bit I forgot to help with this. You need time to get over him a bit for a while (but it doesn't help that he's living opposite (the selfish @@@@@@ - sorry did I already mention that I think he's an oeoeoeoeoe)?

Can you take a break and get away from the house. Rediscover yourself? At least get a new haircut, change of perfume, new clothes etc. Can you get a friend to stay with you for a bit of moral support at the very least?

[Jim Ford]

Originally Posted by Dutchess

... has left a huge void in my life.

Sorry to hear about your problems - I hope the split wasn't acrimonious.

Take the opportunity to fill the void with doing things _you_ want to do, without having to consider or negotiate with someone else.

Jim