Sheep

[tcvarlh]

Originally Posted by volence

"Sheep heaven smells wonderfully of Rosmary and Mint. Maybe roasties too. MMMMMMM"

As a vegetarian I find that offesive.



It's spelt rosemary

Not originally its not, OFFENSIVE however, is spelt so in English.


h

[tcvarlh]

Originally Posted by sunnydale

Trust you!

Prefer beef rib myself

Some of the meats I've eaten didn't have the luxury of herbs and spices. Steamed Camel with no salt is not recommended. Nor is grilled Jerboa.
Prefer Beef too, 1" thick rare steak if given the choice!

[Muggsy]

I've got a sheepy story to share.

Several years ago I was employed as a shepherd on a 4000 acre estate, sadly family events conspired to scupper a lifestyle and job I really loved and I had to move to another farm.
The new job was in a semi rural situation with no animals, only soft fruit, with the house that went with the job situated in the corner of the farm, backing on to a 7 acre orchard.
I still had my 3 dogs, an old one semi retired, an experienced 4 year old, just coming to his best, work wise, and a young bitch that had just started moving geese and ducks about at the time of the move.
I guess it took a month for the four of us to become bored rigid with the lack of animals and I sort permission to keep a few sheep in the orchard which was given.
Now I really should have known better, but at the time, the only sheep available in a hurry were 4 old Kent ewes (ideal) and a Scotch half bred ewe which had to go together. The kents were pretty big sheep but the half bred was a proper leggy thing with a wild look in its eyes, fairly normal for this breed.
Well I ran the experienced dog round them a few times and everything went ok, the half bred stamped her feet a few times but she was no match for him, I built pens around the orchard and races, practiced penning and splitting, driving etc, all was well with the world once again.

Until one sunny lunchtime that is.

It was a beautiful day, finished lunch quickly and decided to run the young bitch for 20 minutes or so and walked out into the orchard. As luck would have it, the sheep were close to my house and I sent her off to the right, first mistake.
I saw that look in the half breds eyes, she knew straight away that the dog had little idea and made for the fence that bordered the main road that passed the farm. There was no hesitation, the ewe knew exactly what she was doing and where she was going and with the kind of leap that only scotch half breds can muster, she was over the fence some 100 yards away and clean away.
The sound of screaching tyres was instantanious as the first car avoided the sheep, followed by several more avoiding hitting the stationary car.
I called the young dog and ran back to the house, grabbed the long crook and changed dogs quickly and went out of the front door to the main road.

There were cars pointing in various directions, all stationary, drivers were out of their cars gesticulating to each other, no sign of a sheep though, then one irate person told me that she had ran a couple of hundred yards down the road and turned right into a garden.
We, the dog and I, ran toward some people standing outside the local millionaires mansion situated on the opposite side of the main road. Sure enough, there was the half bred standing in the middle of his carefully manicured flower border ........ gulp .. the electric gates were open and I couldnt close them so I told the dog to stay in the gateway and went to the mansion door to try and get someone to close them, sadly there was nobody in at the time.
Anyone that has ever worked with sheep will know this, its easier to work a 1000 sheep with one dog than one sheep, but the situation demanded I needed experienced help and I went back to where the dog layed at the entrance.
I positioned myself at one side, like a goalkeeper, crook in right hand and sent the dog. Sweet, he was a good dog, nice and slowly the ewe approached me until suddenly she made a break for freedom. I managed to get the crook on her neck but she was moving too fast and then the tyre screatching started again as the sheep made it across the road and cars avoided her.
At least this time she only went a short distance up the main road and turned right up the lane next to my house and out of sight momentarily. By the time we got into the lane all was quiet but no sign of a sheep.
We walked slowly, there were only 5 houses in the lane, all backing on to the farm I worked on, but I knew the back fences were secure. There were closed gates on the first 2 but the 3rd had an elderly man kneeling in the corner of the front garden weeding, I asked if he had seen a sheep and he answered that he hadnt, so we walked on up the lane only to discover gates were closed on the last 2 property's also.
Back to the man weeding, "are you sure mate, its a big wooly thing" at that point I noticed a bit of wool hanging from a rose bush near the path that led to the back graden and I pointed toward it "looks like she went that way mate" "can I go and have a look please" The old man said and I could and stopped weeding and followed me up the side of his bungalow, I layed the dog in the narrow space, explaining he wasnt to take prisoners if it came back his way and soon the old man and I were in the back garden.
Well it wasnt there, it was a big garden but not so big I couldnt have seen a scotch half bred, suddenly a woman screamed.
I ran back to the house side door that led directly into the kitchen, the lady was stood on the step "theres a sheep in there she said" .. gulp again ...up the step I went and through the door which I closed behind me.
It was a big kitchen, the cooker on the right hand side had saucepans bubbling away on top, a table and chairs placed in the middle, the table had been set for dinner, the sheep standing between the cooker and the table, with nothing out of place in the room at all.
I thought for a moment or two, not really sure of my next move, then I saw the sheep looking at the window above the kitchen sink which was open, with "that" look in her eyes again, I took 2 steps placing myself between her and the window and in two bounds she lept toward me landing with her front feet in the sink and me with my arms around her, at last she was mine again, no way I was letting go.
Looking round the kitchen nothing had moved until she started kicking for freedom again, the cupboard under the sink flew open and the contents were distributed everywhere by her flayling legs, what a nightmare. I struggled ouside half carrying half dragging the ewe and soon we both collapsed on the path outside in a big wooly heap.
The dog came and stood beside me, daring her to try it again. To be honest, I dont remember the lady passing us, but she must have done, she appeared on the step again, this time armed with a packet of digestive biscuits "do you want one love she said" I answered "no thanks" she said "I was talking to the sheep"
I apologised profusely and after the dog had consumed half of the biscuits the three of us walked, staggered, dragged ourselves back down the lane and back into the orchard where the sheep rejoined her mates.
To say I was hot and bothered would be an understatement, I got back into the farm yard to be confronted by the boss who asked "what time do you call this" I was over an hour late, funny how time flys when you're having fun.

As a footnote to this story.

I went back and offered to help clean the mess in the kitchen that evening. It transpired that the lady of the house had only recently been allowed out after a long stay in the local mental hospital following a nervous breakdown.

I only hope she didnt relate the story of the sheep in her kitchen to any medical staff during out patient visits, I often worried that she may get locked up again, and all because of my scotch half bred ewe.

[tcvarlh]

Nearly made a mess on the chair Muggsy, Laughed 'til tears came. Sorry Mate. Made my day Thanks


h

[treecreeper]

Thanks Muggsy, that's the funniest thing I've ever read on WAB

[pammosley]

Brilliant Mugsy I love the biscuit bit
Thanks for sharing it with us

[Muggsy]

I just read it back ........ sorry it was so long and had so many spelling mistakes
Funny enough, I concure with some of the earlier posts in this thread.

My next position following that job involved working for a council, running a farm that would be open to the public.
At the interview I was sat in the middle of a room facing a semi circle of council "suits" all officers involved in gardens and open spaces etc.
One however, was the mayor. He was the last to ask questions. In front of him, obviously sourced from the local library, were the complete range of TV Vet books covering all kinds of farm animals.
As luck would have it, I noticed the book he chose was the TV Vet book of sheep. As he thumbed through the pages I got up from my seat to leave, one of the suits asked where I was going "sorry" I said " by the time he finds the right page in the book the sheep will have died"


I got the job and spent 12 very happy years there on the strength of my reaction.

[Pippa]

Excellent

[agrumpycow]

Brilliant stories, Muggsy Don't apologise for it being a long story, your words formed some great pictures in my mind and gave me a laugh!

[BarbaraEmma]

Brilliant story Muggsy you're a born story teller.
A friend of mine lives in a house set into the side of a steep rocky bank,above the bank it's open mountain.
One morning her husband who was a fireman came home from work and took a walk around the back garden ,leaving the back door open.
My friend woke up thinking it was him in the bedroom,she sat up ,there was a sheep stood there looking at her .She screamed,and her husband came running in,rugby tackled the sheep and hauled it outside.It ran off up the bank and never looked back.
It didn't leave much chaos outside,but inside there were sheep droppings squashed into the cream bedroom carpet and large wet muddy footprints everywhere.
My friend shouted at her husband for not taking his ------ muddy boots off before coming in.