Loss of Community Spirit.

[tufftie]

Not on here but... and i wasn't quite sure where to put it either! (that was rhetorical!)

Always seems such a shame to me that we've lost our community spirit - mainly due to a desire for profit, albeit on a subconscious level. Even our education system works with profit in mind: Educate yourself properly and get a high level job and....be able to afford the luxury items many people have come to accept as normal. The education system dosn't work because it treats pupils as a homogeneous mass rather than individuals. Subjects are not taught in a way that encourages learning - learning is an individual thing and what works for one wont for another...the education system is too structured in this way. There should be a greater choice of subjects and pupils encouraged to find a way of learning that they enjoy - no-one really learns a subject they don't enjoy.

There are many kids round here that are shown love by way of gifts; material things rather than learning that it's the thought that counts not the ridiculously expensive gifts that some parents give them (all out of fad a few months later). They are taught to view their peers by their clothes and possessions rather than the person within.

The youngsters treat old folk with disrespect because most are now in homes rather than being part of the community as a whole (down to people not having the time to look after them as they are too busy making money to pay their over large mortgages). This is not good for anyone; not good for the old folk because they feel cast off and of no use to youngsters because they can't benefit from the advice and care they would receive from them. A community must incorporate people of all ages and then respect will follow.

We simply don't have time for anything anymore - be it nature or the community as we live at such a hectic pace and it's very sad.

[naturelover]

hi tufftie you feel like me they are my thoughts exactly,i for one have looked after my family,i had my dear mum for seven years and i know she loved every day with me and my husband,she was also in a wheelechair so i took her out as much as i could,she passed away in 2000,we now have moved to march cambridgeshire and we took my husbands dad with us,as he is all we have left of our parents,he is now 93 and i am you might as well say his carer,as he just canot do things for himself any more,if more familys were like they were years ago, there wouldnt be the need for all these run down old peoples homes,and alot of the abuse would stop.

[tufftie]

Originally Posted by naturelover

hi tufftie you feel like me they are my thoughts exactly,i for one have looked after my family,i had my dear mum for seven years and i know she loved every day with me and my husband,she was also in a wheelechair so i took her out as much as i could,she passed away in 2000,we now have moved to march cambridgeshire and we took my husbands dad with us,as he is all we have left of our pearants,he is now 93 and i am you might as well say his carer,as he just canot do things for himself any more,if more familys were like they were years ago, there wouldnt be the need for all these run down old peoples homes,and alot of the abuse would stop.

It's a shame more people aren't like you I was in a similar situation to you - gave up everything to look after my father for about a year before he died (back in 1993). Had a fill in job in a home, when i was younger, i was shocked - at that age it hadn't occurred to me that they were there to make a profit. Just shocked me that they gave them tablets to keep them quiet and just let them sit there looking at each other like zombies! they hardley ever had visitors. as for the abuse...

[Susie]

It does make me sad that there are people who don't respect others and who only live for material things but are then not satisfied with them when they get them BUT for the rest of us who do respect our elders and do our bit to help our communities when we can there is no reason why life cannot be as rich and fulfilled as it ever was.

[agrumpycow]

Originally Posted by tufftie

Had a fill in job in a home, when i was younger, i was shocked - at that age it hadn't occurred to me that they were there to make a profit. Just shocked me that they gave them tablets to keep them quiet and just let them sit there looking at each other like zombies! they hardley ever had visitors. as for the abuse...

I have to chip in and say that that kind of home it the exception rather than the norm and I'm shocked that you're lumping all homes into that statement.
I have worked in care homes all my working life, for the elderly and for those with learning disabilities and the vast majority of people I have worked with work far more hours and put so much in over their contract to help those in need of care enjoy their life as much as possible.
No-one is ever medicated just to keep them quiet, any difficult behaviour is dealt with using techniques which are learnt through getting to know the individual and through nationally recognised methods which are proactive rather than just sedating people.
There is no profit in residential care, infact many homes are making a loss. The Commission for Social Care Inspection inspects all care homes regularly and that kind of practice would be seen. My husband reported the owners of the care home he was managing for mishandling money. He lost his job as the company closed but didn't regret it for a minute.
I'm sorry you felt the need to say what you did and I would encourage you to go back and research a bit more before making such emotive comments, especially at this time of year when families are so important.

[Seajay]

I agree with Agrumpycow - it is totally unfair to lump all homes into a category of mis-management and abuse. The vast majority are well run and run by extremely caring and hard working people and as she states rigorous inspections are undertaken to ensure all is well and improvements made. To those who have managed to care for their elderly relatives themselves then you deserve a medal as it is no easy task but many are unable to do so for many reasons.
That said on the original subject - yes I agree there is a definate loss of community spirit compared to say the forties and fifties when 'nobody had owt'.
Now most have everything except love, respect and kindness to those about them. Most certainly very sad, in my opinion.
One of the best ideas I heard was to do ten acts of kindness and get the recipients to do ten acts of kindness to others in return, coupled with respect for others perhaps we might have the answer to many problems?

[agrumpycow]

[quote=Seajay;213587]That said on the original subject - yes I agree there is a definate loss of community spirit compared to say the forties and fifties when 'nobody had owt'.
[quote]

I don't know what everyone else thinks but I personally feel a lot of the loss of community spirit is fuelled by the media. People see a 'hoodie' and think thug. The news if full of stories of gangs and stabbings. Parents are too scared to let their kids play outside so they stay indoors and aren't socialised, and yes I know that's a horrible word and probably not the right one. I don't know, I just feel that sometimes kids are acting out the role sort of expected of them, if that makes sense. A society of mistrust and fear.

[tufftie]

Hey folks - i only mentioned that about one home (i worked in back in the 80's) - not all of them (in a direct reply to naturelover). Not at all in the original post!

My point was unless there is some real reason our old folks should not be in a home, they could be looked after. Homes are needed if there is no-one or due to medical conditions but if it's just down to money. If my old dad was alive now and needed looking after - the house with mortgage - car (not got one but..) they'd all go so that i could look after him. Also it would be good for youngsters...and i agree with agrumpycow too - the media has a lot to answer for.

[naturelover]

hi tufftie sorry i got you into trouble,you and me have the same views on this subject,how i look at it they gave up a lot to bring us up,going without this and that so why shouldnt we repay them for all those years,when you think of it i have been looking after someone in my family for must be 10 years now and i dont regret a day,ok i have a moan off to my self now and then who wouldnt,but i wouldnt have it any other way,i have tryed to make the years they have left happy years and let them know they are wanted and loved.

[Susie]

You're a lovely person, Naturelover. If more people were like you the world would be a better place.