Kicked off a Survival Course

[Amoeba]

Well, basically that's it. I won't get into it too much, but I'm looking for some help here.

I have recently discovered that I can't be around a large group of people for any more than a few hours. I only just discovered that recently, since I have never been in a large group for more than a few hours until just a couple of days ago, when I was on a survival course. I'd been looking forward to it for many months. Somehow though, the pressure of getting along with everyone and not being able to escape them drained me of my energy, and I had a mild anxiety attack - this has never happened to me before, ever (but I don't think the instructors believed me). Basically I was sent home early, on the same day I arrived.

Now, what I need help with is getting used to being in an isolated environment with people I have to work along with without getting this anxiety. As I said, I led a very sheltered life and I want to break away from that. Thing is, as someone who has never had these experiences... is it too late for me to learn? I feel like I can't get the opportunity, I just don't know how to put myself in that situation again. The company I booked with said they'll take me back for day classes (they offered vouchers to make up for leaving early) but not stay-over weekends. So I can't desensitize myself that way.

I don't know...

[Jim Ford]

Probably need to know your age and sex before much advice can be given.

How about starting by working in a group situation but not in isolation, so you don't feel 'trapped'? You can then progress on to an isolated situation.

Perhaps working with a children's group, along with a few adults may help, in which case I'd suggest 'The Woodcraft Folk'. The Woodcraft Folk are generally more 'laid back' than the scouting movement (but not always so, depending on the local group). They are also non religious and unisex. I was a leader for several years. It's hard work, but very rewarding and will 'take you out of yourself'.

Jim

[BillyPilgrim]

Sorry to hear about that, Amoeba. Its hard (and maybe foolish?) to give too much advice to someone who I've never met and don't know. Maybe the best thing to would be to have a chat with your GP in the first instance? I'm sure this kind of thing is treatable. Especially if you are willing.

I would guess that a gradual introduction to group situations would help. Along with talking to someone who has shared similar experiences or is a therapist in this area?

I think I get where you're coming from though. I spent quite a lot of my childhood alone (although you couldn't describe it as being sheltered) and it has had an effect later on in life. For example, I shy away from social gatherings which in the past I would really look forward to attending. My friends and family just think I'm a grumpy git!

[Amoeba]

Thanks for the responses, both of you.

Probably need to know your age and sex before much advice can be given.

I'm 20 and I'm female, though I don't see why my sex is relevant.

How about starting by working in a group situation but not in isolation, so you don't feel 'trapped'? You can then progress on to an isolated situation.

That's the thing, I'm completely fine in those situations, don't have any problem at all with them. I actually do need more experience in an isolated situation, to me that's the next step. But I don't know how I can get myself into that situation, I don't really have any friends or family that would be willing to help.

Perhaps working with a children's group, along with a few adults may help, in which case I'd suggest 'The Woodcraft Folk'. The Woodcraft Folk are generally more 'laid back' than the scouting movement (but not always so, depending on the local group). They are also non religious and unisex. I was a leader for several years. It's hard work, but very rewarding and will 'take you out of yourself'.

I appreciate the suggestion. I actually don't get along with children at all though, I think I'd feel even more uneasy with children than with adults. Mostly because they'd be getting experiences I missed out on as a child so there'd be that underlying bitterness (I was really sheltered and had no experience of real life), but also they just annoy me (even when I was a kid, I always saw myself as separate from other kids, like I wasn't one of them).


Maybe the best thing to would be to have a chat with your GP in the first instance? I'm sure this kind of thing is treatable. Especially if you are willing.

I'm going to look into private help rather than through the GP. In high school I used to see 3 different professional psychiatrists who were more like school counsellors. I left the place feeling worse than when I went in, and stopping the sessions was the only thing that ever helped. Problem is, I just can't afford private care, so that's going to be a real problem.

I would guess that a gradual introduction to group situations would help.

I'm actually okay with group situations. I just need introduced into being able to be isolated in group situations, really. I have no idea how to go about that though.

My friends and family just think I'm a grumpy git!

Aww, you too? Sorry to hear that. Some folks just don't understand nor care.

[BillyPilgrim]

Hi Amoeba. I guessed you were female. If you were male you'd just bottle it all up

I'm not sure if paying for help would necessarily get you better help. You might save up for years to finance private therapy only to go through the same experience that you did at school.

Have you considered Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? I don't know how successful it can be but from having a brief read it certainly sounds like something that could be of use to you.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

[Doggle Avaddit]

Hi Amoeba,


have you considered weekend retreats, sweatlodges, holistic healing weekends type of thing, rather than a survival course? You might then be surrounded and well supported by like minded people, quite possibly there for similar reasons to your own.

These often take place in beautiful isolated surroundings with people who really care.
Might be a lot more useful and pleasureable than someone with letters after their name telling you whats wrong with you and failing miserably

[Billy Wobble Dagger]

This is only an idea, and maybe with a few ifs and buts thrown in. Because your on WAB I assume you must have an interest in wildlife? Have you thought about joining a local wildlife group? You could attand wildlife events such as organised walks or start some wildlife surveys. A lot of these things will be in semi isolated areas but with people that all have one thing in common, wildlife. New friends and doing something that will help our wildlife.

What ever route you take I hope you find away of over coming this problem

BWD

[FUDGEY]

Hi Amoeba, I am sorry to hear this and just hope you get over this hurdle. I'm sorry I can't help in anyway, but I hope the advice you have been given helps you. Puts my sciatica into perspective. Good luck

[Amoeba]

BillyPilgrim: Oh, ha ha. Actually I used to bottle up everything, until it started to make me ill (there was a lot of stuff going on and it was too much) and about three years ago I was recommended to just start letting it all go. I wish I hadn't now, because I've lost that control and that ability to hold it in.

Well, I'm going to speak to my GP about it now. My gran spoke to someone who works in private healthcare and they even said I wasn't likely to get much better help. I'l also have a look at that website you linked to, so thanks for posting it.

Doggle Avaddit: I see what you mean, yeah. I appreciate the suggestion. Part of me wants to jump back into the deep end though, to prove to myself it was a one-time mess up and I can still do it. I want to learn outdoor long-term survival skills, it's all I want right now. The desire is overwhelming, thus why I felt so terrible about getting kicked from the course since I feel it was my only chance this year to learn.

So something comfortable and relaxed is the opposite of what I need I think. I feel like I need a slap in the chops more like, a wake-up call to get me into reality since I pretty much grew up in a protective bubble knowing nothing of reality.

You know what would probably work... if I was dumped in the middle of nowhere with a willing instructor. I could have all the panic attacks I was capable of and nothing would get me out of it. I'd have to learn to cope or die, and I would learn to cope (I wouldn't die). It would probably be the most effective way, but any willing instructor would only be willing to help if it was filling his/her pocket (understandably, nobody should have to deal with someone like me for nothing), so that's impossible for me.

Billy Wobble Dagger: I haven't thought of it, no, mostly because I haven't even heard of one. Do you know how I can find out more about this sort of thing? I'm not even sure what to search for... I'd be interested though, for sure.

FUDGEY: Thanks. I don't like appearing weak like this... just want to change.

[FUDGEY]

I certainly don't think you appear weak, quite the opposite. Confronting this problem as bravely you are makes me think you are half way towards conquering this already and I have every faith you will overcome it. All I can do is wish you luck.