Getting Soft...or how the forecasters are totally wrong

Light breeze they said, another light breeze reported from as close as Sheffield on WAB weather post this morning...all I know is that I woke in the night to hear the wind howling and this morning it was still howling but there might have been something wrong with my ears.....that forecast ,sweet brainless child, who thinks(or used to think that degrees were "in Centigrade" or "in Fahrenheit", she said there was a wonderful day in prospect with light breezes everywhere....so I struggled up the road as far as the pond and with difficulty held binoculars level to my watering eyes, and there were choppy waves breaking on the shore of this tiny millpond,and corvids and seagulls struggled to fly. Light breezes everywhere she said, and I ploughed on up the lane to where the moor started and it was obvious that I needed boots to go on along the saturated path so that was my excuse for turning back. If only I had had a sail and a skateboard...then I should probably have been speed trapped by a policeman with a radar gun.So glad she didn't say there had been a question from a listener about a rumoured hurricane, but there was absolutely no chance of that!